When I woke up last Tuesday and my apps told me I was 20 weeks and therefore, theoretically, halfway through this pregnancy, I felt a little sad! I’m sure that will change in the late weeks when I’m truck-sized and probably uncomfortable, but so far, I have really loved this experience. It’s been fun to get seriously in tune with my body in a way that’s not tied to a bowel disease!
Week 19 wasn’t a very baby-heavy week. I traveled to San Diego for Ali on the Run Show LIVE, and my focus was totally on putting on a great show. But Week 20 brought the baby back into focus. Mostly because it won’t. stop. kicking. me.
I love the kicks. I’m obsessed with the kicks. And they happen all the time now. It’s like a nonstop Rockette audition in there, which is not all that different from how I like to live my own life. Baby, we are the same!
By Week 20, I was wiped. Maybe it was from the travel, maybe it was from feeling a touch Crohnsy, or maybe it’s just from being 20 weeks pregnant, but I felt slowed down. On Friday, I was at Brian’s office doing a super fun podcast interview, and I swear I blinked just a little too slowly and suddenly I was asleep, sitting up at my computer. I snuck into Brian’s office, laid on his couch expecting to take a few deep breaths, and woke up completely out of it an hour later. I clearly needed. I haven’t slowed down all that much, and I think it’s catching up with me.
Other than all the great stuff in San Diego, the highlight from the past two weeks was this past Saturday night. Brian and I had gone out to dinner near our apartment and enjoyed a lovely, summery walk home along the water. My stomach felt huge that night, and very visibly pregnant. I got into bed and felt a really strong kick, so Brian came in to feel it. For the next 15 minutes, there was so much kicking and punching and moving, and we both felt all of it. At one point, I think the baby must have been switching positions, and it was the coolest feeling.
Brian loves talking to the baby now that he/she can hear stuff. He likes to put his face right on my stomach and yell, “Hi baby! It’s your dad!” And then he’ll tell random stories. Usually about Ellie. It makes me happy.
As for everything else…
BABY IS THE SIZE OF…
Week 19: a mango, or an heirloom tomato. I’m honestly not sure which tomato that is. There were a lot to choose from at the grocery store. I picked the biggest one.
Week 20: a banana! Baby, you are getting long! Good job!
HOW I’M FEELING
Week 19: Great! My back pain randomly disappeared completely while I was in San Diego, which I appreciated. The baby kicked a lot on the flight.
Now, people kept warning me about “pregnancy brain,” and I was all, “Nah, not a thing. You’re crazy.” But on Wednesday, the day before I left for California, I went to Target four times. I had a list, and yet I kept forgetting stuff, including the main reason I kept going there. Maybe I’m just stupid, I don’t know. But four trips to Target. Ridiculous.
Week 20: No back pain this week either. Yay.
WHAT I’M EATING
Week 19: The entire city of San Diego.
Week 20: I took one bite of a piece of salmon and am here to confirm that it’s still on the naughty list. Everything else is fair game. I’m generally ravenous in the morning, but don’t have a huge appetite by dinner.
ON THE WORKOUT FRONT
Week 19: I enjoyed two bathroom-stop-free runs in San Diego! They were short and slow and nice, and I was thrilled not to need a bathroom along the way. Plus lots of walking through La Jolla and hiking through Torrey Pines!
Week 20: I ran the Mini 10K! So fun! And I felt surprisingly great. Maybe it was the office nap the day before? I also did a few Orangetheory classes and took them super easy. It’s crazy how some days I can run a 10K and feel amazing, and the next I can’t even run. But I think life was like that pre-pregnancy, too. Who knows. Basically, if I make it to a workout, my mindset is to do what I can and whatever feels best for me on that given day. It’ll probably be different every day, and that’s cool. Keeps me on my toes!
WHAT I’M WEARING
Week 19: I had ordered a bunch of cute (hot pink!) maternity dresses to wear for the live show, but by the time the show arrived, they all still looked ridiculous. Again, regular clothes are too small and awkward, but maternity stuff is still too baggy in the stomach area. Brian wanted to run into the Banana Republic right next to our hotel the day before the show, and while he was on the men’s side, I saw this dress and loved it. The waistband was nice and high, the length was perfect, and POCKETS! (Now if only it were any color but white so I could wear it to the summer weddings I have coming up.) I also got this one, which is not at all flattering on me right now, but it’s very stretchy and comfortable.
Week 20: I ran the 10K in a pair of Lululemon high-waisted running shorts that were comfortable at home, but once I started running, they may as well have been a thong. I’m sorry to all the runners behind me. My butt cheeks were definitely hanging out for that entire race. I’m sorry.
WHAT I’M READING
Week 19: Nothing. WHO HAS TIME TO READ RIGHT NOW? I do not.
Week 20: This article about Meaghan Murphy, an editor at Good Housekeeping. I’ve followed Meaghan online forever, and met her a few years ago when she was an editor at Self. Meaghan does a lot — she works out daily at 5 AM, gets her three kids off to school, commutes into the city from Westfield, NJ, and seems to have a lot of fun along the way. She works hard, she plays hard, and she moms hard, and I’ve always been in awe, so it was very refreshing to read the part of this where she gives a lot of credit to her nanny! So often we read about celebrities or hard-working women, but their help is never part of the narrative. I don’t know if it’s a pride thing, like “look at me, I do it all!” or what, but I love that Meaghan acknowledges that yes, she has help, and that everyone in her family is better for it. I cringe whenever I read articles praising celebrity moms who “do it all” or pieces about “how they fit it all in” or whatever, because you know there are SO many other people pitching in. And that’s fine! That’s great! So own it!
HOW I’M SLEEPING
Week 19: I slept great in San Diego. Thank you, Westin Heavenly Bed (TM!).
Week 20: And then I came back home and am back to sleeping pretty terribly. My stomach has just felt off lately, so I’m often up feeling gassy during the night. (Don’t let anyone tell you pregnancy isn’t very, very sexy.) I’m still struggling to stay on my side and usually wake up on my back a few times throughout the night and try to reposition myself. Nothing dramatic, but I do miss stomach sleeping. And Ambien sleeping.
WHAT I’M WONDERING
Why are people so negative? Before getting pregnant, all the parents of the world were like, “OH MY GOD, HAVE BABIES! HAVE KIDS! IT’S THE BEST!” Now that we are — and we are excited about it! — those same people are all, “YOU’LL NEVER SLEEP AGAIN, FYI. ENJOY YOUR FREEDOM NOW. YOU’LL NEVER ENJOY A MEAL AGAIN. YOU’LL NEVER TRAVEL AGAIN. YOU’LL NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE AGAIN.” What’s with all the doom and gloom? Yeah, life is going to change. Pretty drastically! I get that. I may not know what an heirloom tomato is, but I’m not stupid and I’m not totally delusional. I may not have done this before — no first-time parent has! — but I get that we’re in for a ride.
I’ve also met a ton of negativity when people ask how I’m feeling and I respond saying I feel good or great. (I never randomly bring this up, FYI. It’s only when prompted.) The response I tend to get is, “Oh don’t worry, it gets worse!” or “Just wait until the third trimester — you’re going to hate it!” or “You’re still running? That’ll change!”
People always talk about how people say ridiculous things to pregnant women, and I’ve always laughed it off because I never was the pregnant woman, and I’m not easily offended by this stuff. None of the above offends me, it’s just crazy how many people skew negative no matter the topic. NO THANK YOU!
I get that I am super lucky to have been able to get pregnant in the first place, and to have had this be a really smooth journey so far. Not a moment goes by that I am not so deeply grateful for that. (And I truly hope I make that clear in these updates.) I absolutely get that that is not the case for many, many women, and my heart goes out to them. I really mean that.
That being said, every pregnancy is clearly so different. Just because you (proverbial you, of course) hated it doesn’t mean I’m going to. I might! But let me get there on my own. The constant need to tell me “It gets worse” is just a bummer. Misery loves company, I know, but so does happiness.
QUESTIONS: How many swaddles do I need? There are so many cute ones out there and I want to buy a million, but I also don’t want a million swaddles. What’s a practical number to have? And same question, but crib sheet sets?
More Baby on the Run:
Random Question (and not sure if I missed it) but are y’all finding out the sex of the baby? My friend recently didn’t find out and it was so much fun (even for me). HA! I think it’s fun either way, I just hadn’t seen you post about it!
Nope, not finding out!
For swaddles I’d say two or three. My first hated being swaddled, my second didn’t mind it but took trying a new different brands/types to find one he liked. Halo sleep sacks are great especially as they get older, my first used one until two and a half while he was in the crib. The swaddle blankets are great for other things as well including tummy time, diaper changes at other people’s houses, covering for nursing (if baby doesn’t mind being covered), as regular blankets and we use them to hang off the awning of the stroller to provide complete lightweight coverage of baby (when can’t wear sun screen or when older and passed out) with fan when hot. I know you didn’t ask and might not be thinking about this yet, but I also recommend only getting one or two of a few different types of bottles to start. Some babies are very particular about what kind they like and you can end up a bunch they hate.
I have a 5 month baby girl. We got at least 10 of the Aden and Anais swaddles as gifts and barely ever use them. As another poster said, the baby will break out of it really early on and they are hard to get positioned exactly right. I HIGHLY recommend the Velcro SwaddleMe swaddles instead. So much easier, and the baby cant bust out of it in two seconds. And even with that being said, you don’t need a bunch because if your baby is anything like our daughter, all swaddles were dunzo by 3 months because she could bust out of even the Velcro ones at that point. We had 3 of the SwaddleMe’s and that was enough. Sleep sacks or sleep blankets are better to have more of because they will use those long after they’re done being swaddled. Those 10 Aden & Anais swaddles are just sitting here without a purpose 🙂 We have 2 crib sheets at the moment, but if you’re planning to keep the baby in your room at the beginning in a bassinet, you don’t need a lot of crib sheets in advance. I didn’t know what we were having so now that she is here, I can buy more girly stuff 🙂 🙂 Having 2 sets is good because when the baby spits up or pee leaks on one set (whoops), you have a backup without having to do laundry immediately.
Ugh. The negativity. I noticed it too and it made
me so angry I wrote a post about it as well, haha. I wanted to scream every time someone said “you think you’re tired/in pain/etc etc now? Just wait…”. I HATE THE PHRASE “JUST WAIT” NOW. Those comments added to all my fear and really upset me, so I’m extra cognizant now about what I say. In my experience, the amazing parts of parenthood completely outweigh the challenges!
PS 3 swaddles max
I obviously have zero baby advice, and I’m a child in a 35-year-old’s body…so I literally LOLed at the banana.
We had way to many swaddles. My kid was a July baby and hated most swaddles. I wished I would have kept some in the packaging with receipts so that I could have returned them once I saw they weren’t working.
Mom of an 8-week-old here. If you’re having a baby shower, don’t buy any swaddle blankets. People will give you a ton. I think you can get by with 6-8 depending on how often you do laundry. Our baby doesn’t actually like to be swaddled for sleeping, but we still use swaddle blankets every day for burping, modesty when nursing in public, and to provide shade in the stroller. We have 3 sets of sheets for the crib, but you can get by with 2. Make sure you have at least 2 covers for the changing pad too, and a few washable waterproof liners. I’m always grateful we have extras!
People are stupid. Having a kid is SOOO much fun. You think it’s going to be pretty cool and then it blows your mind how truely awesome it is. Honestly. Sure there are moments when crazy stuff happens and then you laugh off the exploding diapers and sleepless nights because it is all totally worth it. You look great, enjoy this time, it is super fun but know the next time period is even better. Although I hate to tell you the silly comments don’t stop. But heck with them, love all the moments 🙂
Congratulations to you both, you both seem like you will be wonderful parents!
Halo sleepsacks for the win!! I think I had 4 or five and as she grew and I had to buy bigger I probably had only 2 or 3! They grow so fast (waaaa!!!) try not to over buy (totally guilty here!) I have two cotton crib sheets and one flannel and it’s been plenty and my daughter is now 2.5!
Ignore the negativity. Sure, there’s work. But there’s also so so so much joy.
Swaddles: You’ll probably want about half a dozen all-purpose blankets to use over and under Baby when out and about. We had a few different varieties of these and used them for swaddling as well when Baby was tiny; we found stretchy ones created a more effective swaddle. As Baby got stronger and started breaking out, we began using the Halo swaddle sleep sack. This worked fine right up until he started rolling, and then we stopped swaddling (and none of us have slept as well since). There are lots of fancy “miracle” swaddles and if you use one of those you’ll probably want 3 (my general rule – one in use, one in the wash, one on the drawer).
Crib sheets: You need 3 – one to use, one in the wash, one in the drawer. (Remember, in the beginning Baby won’t stay awake for as long as it takes to do the wash, and s/he is completely capable of having two diaper blowouts within a two hour period.)
There are actually (at least) two phases. In the beginning, the swaddle will protect your crib sheet from a lot of unpleasantness. Many babies are also in a bassinet during this phase, which only lasts a few months. Later on, there’s no swaddle, and Baby is bigger and his or her various messes are bigger. In addition to sheets you’ll want a crib mattress cover, because you don’t want to wreck your mattress when Baby has a blowout in the middle of the night. We have 3 mattress covers and 4 sheets; we could certainly make do with one less of each, but we had a bad week with daily leakage and I wasn’t excited to do laundry every day, so I was glad to have them. Since our crib (like most) converts to a toddler bed, we have plenty of time to use these items, so it seems worth having an extra.
Also (yes, this is already the longest comment ever) do you have your own washer/dryer? If not, is it on the floor, in the basement, do you have to go to a laundromat or send it out? We have a washer/dryer and these days I do laundry every other day, so my kid has six onesies and three pairs of pants and it’s fine. When he was born the laundry was in the basement and he had something like twenty onesies and it was not enough.
For crib sheets get the one that zips on and off. Ours was from Buy Buy Baby. It was (for kid #1) and still is awesome (for kid #2).
Get one base and two top sheets. That way if the diaper leaks or the baby spits up you just zip off the soiled sheet and on the clean one.
I just went through that newborn stage! I have a 4 month old now, I loved the swaddles that you could Velcro when he was teeny tiny, I would have maybe 5 of those, I have maybe 5 of the big anis and Aden ones — they are great for anything, I use them for blankets and nursing covers now! And I had 2 halo sacks to baby to sleep in at night when he outgrew the Velcro ones! He stopped liking to be swaddled around week 7 so it didn’t last too long!
I love this and your positivity! I absolutely loved being pregnant with my first- morning sickness and all- it was the first time I truly loved and felt in awe of my body. My second was a little tougher in terms of comfort (he was 9lbs 14 oz) but I loved it too.
I feel like there is this weird dichotomy right now where people either sing the praises of parenthood and doing it all and omg love every second judge those that don’t and then the opposite extreme of people who are constantly making memes or complaining about having kids (a little too much). I wish we could all meet in the middle. Yes I miss sleep. But I would give up sleep 100x over for my two kiddos. It can be hard, but isn’t anything worth having hard at times?
As for the swaddles – anis and Aden Muslim or the Velcro kind. Not too many until you know they like it. One of mine has to have her arms free and the other became a swaddle Houdini by the time he was like 6 days old. We prefer the sleep sack. Also if you haven’t already- Lucy’s List is the best. She’s done all the research on this things!
From the baby blogs I’ve read…maybe buy a couple swaddles, remember you’ll also want some kind of sleep sack as the kiddo grows. so I think getting double of most things is reasonable (one dirty, one clean) and then go from there.
Babies don’t make a ton of mess on the sheets, so we have been able to get away with 2 (she is almost 9 months) since we have a washer/dryer in the apt. As for swaddles, we have like 6, but she never needs that many. We also used the Halo sleepsacks for nighttime sleep (they stay in them way longer, though your swaddling skills may exceed mine). And don’t buy into the negativity!! Even at my most giant, during the hottest days of summer, I never felt as miserable as I was warned I’d feel. I ran until 28 weeks, and hiked up a mountain at 35. Do whatever the heck makes you happy. Happy mama, happy baby is my mantra.
PLEASE do Eva Chen / Tao-style morning un-swaddlings!
Let me know if you decide you’d like some of our Halo sleep slack/swaddles because I might have bought a tad too many for my son and would be happy to pass some along. I say this 4 weeks away from our daughter arriving, but seriously, I have double-digit number of swaddles and it’s too many. So.
I’m glad you’re feeling great still! If you want to run, run! If you want to walk, walk! I was happy to make it to 33 weeks running this time before silly early contractions benched me, and I’m already missing it. My first pregnancy was definitely easier, but I am still incredibly grateful to be here, 35 weeks along. Enjoy the beautiful process! (p.s. I like the Burt’s Bees crib sheets because they’re nice, organic cotton, fit beautifully over our thick crib mattress, and have lots of cute designs! I usually rotate about 3-4 at a time and then when they wear out I buy more).
Swaddle blankets are great for absolutely everything except swaddling (burp cloth, to cover the car seat, etc). For actual swaddling, use the miracle blanket swaddle, a swaddle me, or a halo swaddle: all are so easy for middle of the night changes! Start with one of each, that way when baby spits up or blows out you have extras.
I love your attitude! My kids are older now (11 and 9 – not sure how THAT happened so quickly) but with both we used crib sheet protectors that you tied on to the crib rails and they were AWESOME. If you can find those they were perfect when they were small and didn’t move around much had a diaper blowout during the night – no need to change all of the sheets, just untie the sheet saver and you’re good!
I’d also say anything you can find that zips is perfect for sleeping – buttons while you’re tired and trying to keep the lights off while changing diapers are a zillion times harder than a zipper (or just a gown that has an elastic opening at the bottom – those are great and we used them for both my son and daughter).
We used the Miracle blanket for both kids – one loved it and it was all he could sleep in and my daughter HATED it with the fire of a thousand sons. Each kid is different so just be prepared to try a bunch of different options.
It’s so true about the doom and gloom. We’re a couple months into the “terrible twos” and everyone is all “wait til the threes!”. It’s never ending. I really love being a parent. I think maybe it’s harder to describe how good it is, while the bad things are much more obvious. I don’t know though. I think about it a lot.
I read somewhere that the quantity of baby clothes/bedding needed depends on your access to laundry facilities/how often you want to do laundry. If you do laundry all the time you really don’t need much, but if it’s hard to access/you’re lazy… stock up!
Also. You CAN leave the house after you have a baby. You can go out and buy things you need when you need them (as long as it’s not a day-long trek, of course). I remember reading baby lists and thinking how am I ever going to get everything for the baby’s first year before he’s born?? Turns out, that isn’t necessary. I’m excited for you guys! And for me to read about it 🙂
I’m the opposite…I don’t want to tell people how easy my 2 pregnancies and deliveries were and get their hopes up. I loved being pregnant! PS we just used a regular blanket for swaddling. It works, I promise.
I would recommend only a few swaddles to start—I got a bunch for my first and read Happiest Baby on the Block and was all like MY BABY WILL BE AN ADORABLE HAPPY BURRITO. Turns out, he absolutely could not stand being swaddled so we didn’t use any of them.
No matter where you are in pregnancy or parenthood, it seems like there are always people ahead of you who want to be like, JUST YOU WAIT LOL. My son is 2 and I’ve just kind of learned to take everything with a grain of salt because each parent and each kid and each experience is different. I’m due with our second a few weeks before you so of course I’m getting a barrage of “Oh man, one kid is so easy, but wait until the second is here!” 🙂
If you want to wear the dress for summer weddings, get a pack of Rit clothing dye! You can just toss the dress in the washing machine with some dye and it’ll color it to whatever you want. Instant wedding guest dress! They have a million colors and you should be able to find it pretty easily at Target (write it down so you don’t forget!) or other big box stores – def craft stores and I’ve seen it at grocery stores. You can also find it easily online if that’s your jam (and prob more color options that way). It’s super easy and cheap and you can get more wear from your new fave dress. https://www.ritdye.com/
I have found that people love commenting even more once the baby arrives. And judgey stares too– yes, I’m bringing my baby on the train or out to dinner, because, unlike my dog, I can’t leave her home. And I’m not going to sit at home all day every day. Swaddles: I love the SwaddleMe swaddles. They are velcro- a MUST have in our house. I think two is plenty (size small). And if you love them (as we do), as the baby grows, then you can get the next sizes up– Amazon Prime takes away the need to buy in bulk up front. As an aside, the Aden and Anais swaddle blankets are so cute, but there can’t really be a baby that doesn’t break out of that swaddle. We have a bunch but use them now mostly for spit-up- if ever. Also two crib sheets seems like enough to me since the baby doesn’t even sleep in the crib in the beginning. And again, if you need more, you can always buy more. I think burp clothes and bibs are two things we didn’t think we needed in the beginning because our baby barely spit up. Fast forward to a few months later, and there is projectile spit-up everywhere and on every blanket during tummy time. P.S. Sorry for the novel.
Ignore the negativity! Having our daughter has not slowed us down. If anything I think we do more because we want her to have as many experiences as possible. Those sleepless nights don’t last forever. As for swaddles I would say 4-5 is probably more than sufficient. And 2 sheet sets was fine for us. Also the velcro swaddles and the Halo sleep sacks are awesome when they are newborns.
Aww!! Your smiles!! You look so happy and your glowing!!
You are singing my song on the negative. Currently 29 weeks and I’m done with the “oh, just wait.” My husband actually gets it worse than I do sometimes. You do you, I’ll do me. I too have been lucky to feel great and continue to run. I listen to my body and know that if we take this journey again, I may not be as lucky. But let me enjoy. Congrats on your super exciting journey!
Also, we put three sheets, one 2-pack mattress protector and, like, a dozen swaddles on our registry. Is that the right number? No idea. But it’s a start.
Just a few swaddles! We had way too many and they are still in the packaging! A year later, my recommendation is enough Incase he or she poops through it and you need to have a spare one 🙂 our favorites were the Velcro ones for newborn stage. We failed at the regular ones and as soon as we put little man in a Velcro one he slept!! It was eye opening. There are also transition ones, don’t worry about those yet 😉 so happy you’re feeling great!
My kiddo always broke out of muslin swaddles so I ended up buying the swaddle me ones. And I probably had close to 20 because he always.pooped.in.them! And we only have 2 crib sheets, because I’m lazy and I don’t want to have to rush washing sheets.