When I woke up last Tuesday and my apps told me I was 20 weeks and therefore, theoretically, halfway through this pregnancy, I felt a little sad! I’m sure that will change in the late weeks when I’m truck-sized and probably uncomfortable, but so far, I have really loved this experience. It’s been fun to get seriously in tune with my body in a way that’s not tied to a bowel disease!
Week 19 wasn’t a very baby-heavy week. I traveled to San Diego for Ali on the Run Show LIVE, and my focus was totally on putting on a great show. But Week 20 brought the baby back into focus. Mostly because it won’t. stop. kicking. me.
I love the kicks. I’m obsessed with the kicks. And they happen all the time now. It’s like a nonstop Rockette audition in there, which is not all that different from how I like to live my own life. Baby, we are the same!
By Week 20, I was wiped. Maybe it was from the travel, maybe it was from feeling a touch Crohnsy, or maybe it’s just from being 20 weeks pregnant, but I felt slowed down. On Friday, I was at Brian’s office doing a super fun podcast interview, and I swear I blinked just a little too slowly and suddenly I was asleep, sitting up at my computer. I snuck into Brian’s office, laid on his couch expecting to take a few deep breaths, and woke up completely out of it an hour later. I clearly needed. I haven’t slowed down all that much, and I think it’s catching up with me.
Other than all the great stuff in San Diego, the highlight from the past two weeks was this past Saturday night. Brian and I had gone out to dinner near our apartment and enjoyed a lovely, summery walk home along the water. My stomach felt huge that night, and very visibly pregnant. I got into bed and felt a really strong kick, so Brian came in to feel it. For the next 15 minutes, there was so much kicking and punching and moving, and we both felt all of it. At one point, I think the baby must have been switching positions, and it was the coolest feeling.
Brian loves talking to the baby now that he/she can hear stuff. He likes to put his face right on my stomach and yell, “Hi baby! It’s your dad!” And then he’ll tell random stories. Usually about Ellie. It makes me happy.
As for everything else…
BABY IS THE SIZE OF…
Week 19: a mango, or an heirloom tomato. I’m honestly not sure which tomato that is. There were a lot to choose from at the grocery store. I picked the biggest one.
Week 20: a banana! Baby, you are getting long! Good job!
HOW I’M FEELING
Week 19: Great! My back pain randomly disappeared completely while I was in San Diego, which I appreciated. The baby kicked a lot on the flight.
Now, people kept warning me about “pregnancy brain,” and I was all, “Nah, not a thing. You’re crazy.” But on Wednesday, the day before I left for California, I went to Target four times. I had a list, and yet I kept forgetting stuff, including the main reason I kept going there. Maybe I’m just stupid, I don’t know. But four trips to Target. Ridiculous.
Week 20: No back pain this week either. Yay.
WHAT I’M EATING
Week 19: The entire city of San Diego.
Week 20: I took one bite of a piece of salmon and am here to confirm that it’s still on the naughty list. Everything else is fair game. I’m generally ravenous in the morning, but don’t have a huge appetite by dinner.
ON THE WORKOUT FRONT
Week 19: I enjoyed two bathroom-stop-free runs in San Diego! They were short and slow and nice, and I was thrilled not to need a bathroom along the way. Plus lots of walking through La Jolla and hiking through Torrey Pines!
Week 20: I ran the Mini 10K! So fun! And I felt surprisingly great. Maybe it was the office nap the day before? I also did a few Orangetheory classes and took them super easy. It’s crazy how some days I can run a 10K and feel amazing, and the next I can’t even run. But I think life was like that pre-pregnancy, too. Who knows. Basically, if I make it to a workout, my mindset is to do what I can and whatever feels best for me on that given day. It’ll probably be different every day, and that’s cool. Keeps me on my toes!
WHAT I’M WEARING
Week 19: I had ordered a bunch of cute (hot pink!) maternity dresses to wear for the live show, but by the time the show arrived, they all still looked ridiculous. Again, regular clothes are too small and awkward, but maternity stuff is still too baggy in the stomach area. Brian wanted to run into the Banana Republic right next to our hotel the day before the show, and while he was on the men’s side, I saw this dress and loved it. The waistband was nice and high, the length was perfect, and POCKETS! (Now if only it were any color but white so I could wear it to the summer weddings I have coming up.) I also got this one, which is not at all flattering on me right now, but it’s very stretchy and comfortable.
Week 20: I ran the 10K in a pair of Lululemon high-waisted running shorts that were comfortable at home, but once I started running, they may as well have been a thong. I’m sorry to all the runners behind me. My butt cheeks were definitely hanging out for that entire race. I’m sorry.
WHAT I’M READING
Week 19: Nothing. WHO HAS TIME TO READ RIGHT NOW? I do not.
Week 20: This article about Meaghan Murphy, an editor at Good Housekeeping. I’ve followed Meaghan online forever, and met her a few years ago when she was an editor at Self. Meaghan does a lot — she works out daily at 5 AM, gets her three kids off to school, commutes into the city from Westfield, NJ, and seems to have a lot of fun along the way. She works hard, she plays hard, and she moms hard, and I’ve always been in awe, so it was very refreshing to read the part of this where she gives a lot of credit to her nanny! So often we read about celebrities or hard-working women, but their help is never part of the narrative. I don’t know if it’s a pride thing, like “look at me, I do it all!” or what, but I love that Meaghan acknowledges that yes, she has help, and that everyone in her family is better for it. I cringe whenever I read articles praising celebrity moms who “do it all” or pieces about “how they fit it all in” or whatever, because you know there are SO many other people pitching in. And that’s fine! That’s great! So own it!
HOW I’M SLEEPING
Week 19: I slept great in San Diego. Thank you, Westin Heavenly Bed (TM!).
Week 20: And then I came back home and am back to sleeping pretty terribly. My stomach has just felt off lately, so I’m often up feeling gassy during the night. (Don’t let anyone tell you pregnancy isn’t very, very sexy.) I’m still struggling to stay on my side and usually wake up on my back a few times throughout the night and try to reposition myself. Nothing dramatic, but I do miss stomach sleeping. And Ambien sleeping.
WHAT I’M WONDERING
Why are people so negative? Before getting pregnant, all the parents of the world were like, “OH MY GOD, HAVE BABIES! HAVE KIDS! IT’S THE BEST!” Now that we are — and we are excited about it! — those same people are all, “YOU’LL NEVER SLEEP AGAIN, FYI. ENJOY YOUR FREEDOM NOW. YOU’LL NEVER ENJOY A MEAL AGAIN. YOU’LL NEVER TRAVEL AGAIN. YOU’LL NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE AGAIN.” What’s with all the doom and gloom? Yeah, life is going to change. Pretty drastically! I get that. I may not know what an heirloom tomato is, but I’m not stupid and I’m not totally delusional. I may not have done this before — no first-time parent has! — but I get that we’re in for a ride.
I’ve also met a ton of negativity when people ask how I’m feeling and I respond saying I feel good or great. (I never randomly bring this up, FYI. It’s only when prompted.) The response I tend to get is, “Oh don’t worry, it gets worse!” or “Just wait until the third trimester — you’re going to hate it!” or “You’re still running? That’ll change!”
People always talk about how people say ridiculous things to pregnant women, and I’ve always laughed it off because I never was the pregnant woman, and I’m not easily offended by this stuff. None of the above offends me, it’s just crazy how many people skew negative no matter the topic. NO THANK YOU!
I get that I am super lucky to have been able to get pregnant in the first place, and to have had this be a really smooth journey so far. Not a moment goes by that I am not so deeply grateful for that. (And I truly hope I make that clear in these updates.) I absolutely get that that is not the case for many, many women, and my heart goes out to them. I really mean that.
That being said, every pregnancy is clearly so different. Just because you (proverbial you, of course) hated it doesn’t mean I’m going to. I might! But let me get there on my own. The constant need to tell me “It gets worse” is just a bummer. Misery loves company, I know, but so does happiness.
QUESTIONS: How many swaddles do I need? There are so many cute ones out there and I want to buy a million, but I also don’t want a million swaddles. What’s a practical number to have? And same question, but crib sheet sets?
More Baby on the Run: