During Week 12, I was convinced I had “popped.” I also thought this during Week 5, Week 9, Week 10, and Week 11. I know I haven’t, but I am definitely feeling thicker in the middle, and a few people have commented on my “bump.” (Which, TBH, I still don’t really think is a bump so much as it is the all-carb diet I’ve been following for the past 12 weeks.)
BABY IS THE SIZE OF A…
HOW I’M FEELING
This week was exciting because we made our secret not a secret! I loved sharing our news with our friends and internet friends, and so appreciated all the love that came pouring in. So thank you for that! It made for a super special few days.
Of course, with that announcement came the flood of feedback! I basically don’t take anything seriously from people and am pretty good at deflecting or ignoring certain things, but here are a few things that have come up a lot so far:
- “Do you want a boy or a girl? I know you’re not supposed to say, but seriously, which do you want?” (I want a healthy kid who sleeps a lot, never cries, is really funny, and comes out potty trained. That’s all I want. Duh.)
- Yes, I’m using a doula and a midwife. No that doesn’t mean I’m “ew, having a home birth” or “oh god, having a water birth or something.”
- I know a dog and a human child are not the same. But many people have made comments along the lines [OK, verbatim] of, “I know you think you love Ellie, but when you hold a baby, you’ll know what love really is.” LOL OK thank u.
- The people who have responded saying, “You’re going to be a great mom” are my favorite people on the planet. That warms my heart and makes me feel really good. So to those people, thank you. Stick around!
But yeah, for the most part, still feeling pretty good. Skin is still a mess, I was a little crampy this week, I was definitely moodier and more irritable, and I still tend to hit a wall of exhaustion right around 4 PM, but mostly just grateful for pretty smooth sailing through the first trimester!
WHAT I’M EATING
Not ice cream, that’s for sure. I had cut out dairy for more than a year and felt great doing so. I was less bloated and just generally felt better. I’ve never been lactose intolerant, but I first tested out ditching dairy to see if it would help my Crohn’s symptoms, and it seemed to, so I kept it up. But over the past few weeks, some cheese started making its way back into my life. And then, last Friday, it was warm out and I really wanted some ice cream. So I bought some, and I ate a giant bowl, and I felt awful. It was the worst afternoon, evening, and night of this pregnancy, and in months, actually. (I’ve read that if you stop eating dairy for a while you basically make yourself lactose intolerant.) I started feeling like I was having a panic attack and couldn’t breathe, and I was in a ton of pain and got really crampy, but also couldn’t seem to go to the bathroom. It was super unpleasant, and I no longer want ice cream.
Other than that, still loving fruit (cantaloupe, watermelon, oranges), not totally craving veggies, and am very interested in elbow macaroni with dairy-free butter, salt, and pepper. A staple from my early NYC days!
ON THE WORKOUT FRONT
Per my coach’s suggestion, I started making modifications at Orangetheory last week. I used the strider instead of the rower, which is fun because you can really dance more on the strider! (Many women don’t stop rowing until their stomachs prevent them from doing so, but Coach Jess told me to make the switch now, and since I hate the rower, I am just fine with that!) And instead of doing the lying down overhead extensions, I did standing tricep dips. (Again, I don’t necessarily need to mae these modifications yet, but I’m fine with them!)
During one class, Coach Margaret came over to me while I was modifying one of the floor exercises and asked, “Isn’t it frustrating?” (Meaning having to modify and take it easy.) And I was like, “Actually no! I love slowing down for this!” WHO AM I?
On Saturday, it was gorgeous outside, and I wanted to see if I could run 10 miles since I’m registered for the New Jersey Half Marathon in two weeks. I made it five terrible miles, felt like garbage, and called it. I have had no problem flipping that “what I can, when I can” switch. (And the same goes for the NJ Half — if I don’t feel I can or should do it, I won’t. The sidelines are just as — eh, even more — fun!)
WHAT I’M WEARING
Nothing with buttons! That denim skirt I wore in our announcement photo? Yeah, that top button isn’t quite buttoning. I’m pretty much living in leggings and sweatpants, which is no different from before, except that now I’m Regina George and, “These sweatpants are all that fit me right now.” I’m also going to be investing in some new bras soon, because I’m busting out of the sides of mine.
WHAT I’M READING
Expecting Better by Emily Oster. My friend Sarah sent me this book and I am loving it! It answers, debates, and challenges all the things I’ve been questioning so far (like about why we follow certain “rules” during pregnancy, and is sushi really so bad?). Highly recommend!
HOW I’M SLEEPING
Mostly OK but oh my god these pregnancy dreams! Every night is like going to bed and unintentionally watching at least three intense thrillers. One night I had a dream that Brian’s office was on fire and I had to help everyone — including Ellie — get out by running down 15 flights of stairs. (I succeeded. I’m such a hero.) Then, I had a dream where Coach Cane came to his first Orangetheory class, and he was right on time but class had actually started two minutes early, and he was pissed. Then, we played Capture the Flag and Jane Fonda was there! What is happening in my brain every night? Is there a tiny M. Night Shyamalan in there calling the shots?!
WHAT I’M WONDERING
Why everything is so dang “gender specific.” As I’ve mentioned, we are not planning on finding out the sex of our baby until it’s born. I’m not super tempted to start shopping for stuff for this kid yet, but eventually I will. Which means that on days I really want to procrastinate, I’ll browse around and see what’s out there in terms of clothing and nursery inspiration. And everything is sorted by “boy” or “girl.” The few places that offer “gender neutral” searches, be it for clothing or furniture, basically just throw a few gray things in there and call it a day. Boo.
I’ll probably start spacing these updates out by every few weeks instead of every week, since I imagine they’re going to get a little too repetitive. But also who knows!