During Week 12, I was convinced I had “popped.” I also thought this during Week 5, Week 9, Week 10, and Week 11. I know I haven’t, but I am definitely feeling thicker in the middle, and a few people have commented on my “bump.” (Which, TBH, I still don’t really think is a bump so much as it is the all-carb diet I’ve been following for the past 12 weeks.)

BABY IS THE SIZE OF A…
“large plum.”




HOW I’M FEELING
This week was exciting because we made our secret not a secret! I loved sharing our news with our friends and internet friends, and so appreciated all the love that came pouring in. So thank you for that! It made for a super special few days.
Of course, with that announcement came the flood of feedback! I basically don’t take anything seriously from people and am pretty good at deflecting or ignoring certain things, but here are a few things that have come up a lot so far:
- “Do you want a boy or a girl? I know you’re not supposed to say, but seriously, which do you want?” (I want a healthy kid who sleeps a lot, never cries, is really funny, and comes out potty trained. That’s all I want. Duh.)
- Yes, I’m using a doula and a midwife. No that doesn’t mean I’m “ew, having a home birth” or “oh god, having a water birth or something.”
- I know a dog and a human child are not the same. But many people have made comments along the lines [OK, verbatim] of, “I know you think you love Ellie, but when you hold a baby, you’ll know what love really is.” LOL OK thank u.
- The people who have responded saying, “You’re going to be a great mom” are my favorite people on the planet. That warms my heart and makes me feel really good. So to those people, thank you. Stick around!




But yeah, for the most part, still feeling pretty good. Skin is still a mess, I was a little crampy this week, I was definitely moodier and more irritable, and I still tend to hit a wall of exhaustion right around 4 PM, but mostly just grateful for pretty smooth sailing through the first trimester!
WHAT I’M EATING
Not ice cream, that’s for sure. I had cut out dairy for more than a year and felt great doing so. I was less bloated and just generally felt better. I’ve never been lactose intolerant, but I first tested out ditching dairy to see if it would help my Crohn’s symptoms, and it seemed to, so I kept it up. But over the past few weeks, some cheese started making its way back into my life. And then, last Friday, it was warm out and I really wanted some ice cream. So I bought some, and I ate a giant bowl, and I felt awful. It was the worst afternoon, evening, and night of this pregnancy, and in months, actually. (I’ve read that if you stop eating dairy for a while you basically make yourself lactose intolerant.) I started feeling like I was having a panic attack and couldn’t breathe, and I was in a ton of pain and got really crampy, but also couldn’t seem to go to the bathroom. It was super unpleasant, and I no longer want ice cream.
Other than that, still loving fruit (cantaloupe, watermelon, oranges), not totally craving veggies, and am very interested in elbow macaroni with dairy-free butter, salt, and pepper. A staple from my early NYC days!
ON THE WORKOUT FRONT
Per my coach’s suggestion, I started making modifications at Orangetheory last week. I used the strider instead of the rower, which is fun because you can really dance more on the strider! (Many women don’t stop rowing until their stomachs prevent them from doing so, but Coach Jess told me to make the switch now, and since I hate the rower, I am just fine with that!) And instead of doing the lying down overhead extensions, I did standing tricep dips. (Again, I don’t necessarily need to mae these modifications yet, but I’m fine with them!)




During one class, Coach Margaret came over to me while I was modifying one of the floor exercises and asked, “Isn’t it frustrating?” (Meaning having to modify and take it easy.) And I was like, “Actually no! I love slowing down for this!” WHO AM I?
On Saturday, it was gorgeous outside, and I wanted to see if I could run 10 miles since I’m registered for the New Jersey Half Marathon in two weeks. I made it five terrible miles, felt like garbage, and called it. I have had no problem flipping that “what I can, when I can” switch. (And the same goes for the NJ Half — if I don’t feel I can or should do it, I won’t. The sidelines are just as — eh, even more — fun!)




WHAT I’M WEARING
Nothing with buttons! That denim skirt I wore in our announcement photo? Yeah, that top button isn’t quite buttoning. I’m pretty much living in leggings and sweatpants, which is no different from before, except that now I’m Regina George and, “These sweatpants are all that fit me right now.” I’m also going to be investing in some new bras soon, because I’m busting out of the sides of mine.
WHAT I’M READING
Expecting Better by Emily Oster. My friend Sarah sent me this book and I am loving it! It answers, debates, and challenges all the things I’ve been questioning so far (like about why we follow certain “rules” during pregnancy, and is sushi really so bad?). Highly recommend!




HOW I’M SLEEPING
Mostly OK but oh my god these pregnancy dreams! Every night is like going to bed and unintentionally watching at least three intense thrillers. One night I had a dream that Brian’s office was on fire and I had to help everyone — including Ellie — get out by running down 15 flights of stairs. (I succeeded. I’m such a hero.) Then, I had a dream where Coach Cane came to his first Orangetheory class, and he was right on time but class had actually started two minutes early, and he was pissed. Then, we played Capture the Flag and Jane Fonda was there! What is happening in my brain every night? Is there a tiny M. Night Shyamalan in there calling the shots?!




WHAT I’M WONDERING
Why everything is so dang “gender specific.” As I’ve mentioned, we are not planning on finding out the sex of our baby until it’s born. I’m not super tempted to start shopping for stuff for this kid yet, but eventually I will. Which means that on days I really want to procrastinate, I’ll browse around and see what’s out there in terms of clothing and nursery inspiration. And everything is sorted by “boy” or “girl.” The few places that offer “gender neutral” searches, be it for clothing or furniture, basically just throw a few gray things in there and call it a day. Boo.
I’ll probably start spacing these updates out by every few weeks instead of every week, since I imagine they’re going to get a little too repetitive. But also who knows!
32 Responses
Elbow macaroni is the best. Can you eat Montreal Chicken or Lemon Pepper spice? So good.
Aside from the gender neutral, the dinosaur stuff being boys is crazy making. Dinos aren’t gendered!
We didn’t find out the gender of our first and won’t be with our second (due May 19) and some people are legitimately OFFENDED that you “won’t tell them”. Reasons like “I just don’t know what to buy” are totally crazy to me. Babies, and toddlers I would also argue, eat, sleep and poop exactly the same so why do I need ANYTHING gender specific?! It’s kind of a sore subject because I just don’t get it. You hear all kinds of crazy things when you’re pregnant. I’m excited for you! I’ve been a reader for a long time and can’t wait to “meet” your little addition!
I highly recommenced watching momsplaining with Kristen Bell. They never fail to get me laughing. https://www.ellentube.com/studios/momsplaining/momsplaining-with-kristen-bell-pregnancyrealness-ep-1.html
The gender thing is so frustrating. We found out the gender but waited forever to tell people. I was shocked at how people would get mad and frustrated that we weren’t telling them Same thing went for names. People would legit get mad when I wouldn’t tell them the name we chose.
OMG, seriously, the things people say. “You’ll never truly understand {basic element of human experience that anyone can understand} until you have a child.” <– Parents. Just, wow!
I’m surprised so many people have issues about people asking if they’d prefer one gender over another. Maybe I’m just a bit too laid back, it didn’t bother me at all. We found out our baby’s gender at 20 weeks as I am a chronic planner so needed to know! It didn’t really impact on what clothes I bought as at that age I dressed him in onsies and just bought whatever colour was cheaper!
What until you start the pregnancy drool at night… I woke up with so many gross wet pillows. Treated myself to a new one after baby arrived!
I always answered the boy/girl question with “Not sure I have a choice, so…?” (I pass the awkward back to people. I’m a big hit at parties.) Now that I have two boys everyone asks when I’m going to try for a girl, but, honestly, THE ODDS AREN’T ANY BETTER, JANET. And I’m cool with my screaming pack of wild hyenas.
I’m so excited for your baby. Your energy makes ME grin from ear to ear, and I only know you through the computer.
People have SOOO much (unwanted) advice! Its nuts! My kiddo is almost a year and just the other day I got mom shamed on the trail because in one 50 foot section of the trail the sun was in his eyes. Seriously, did someone need to stop me to tell me that? Nope, he is fine and I am fine, thankyouverymuch!
I hope you escape some of the input during this super awesome time. And if not, remember that being pregnant is a good excuse. Near the end of my pregnancy when people kept telling me how tired I looked, I seriously contemplated either some throat punching or throwing back “you look like crap too and your not even growing another human being in your body, what’s your excuse?” Both of which are not nice but you would totally be excused for your actions because you are pregnant 🙂
Something to think about…
And I agree, you guys are going to be awesome parents and it is going to be a blast – enjoy the ride!
Congrats! I’ve been reading your blog for a long time and this is very exciting. 🙂
For me, the weirdest thing about pregnancy (and now, new motherhood) was all the unsolicited opinions and “advice” people suddenly felt the need to share with me… Also! how people think it’s ok to comment on pregnant women’s bodies! I had a whole slew of zingy responses by the end, they’re super fun to come up with. Keep rocking the fruit and the carbs (totally all I ate for the majority of my pregnancy), and remember that there’s a Regina George quote suitable to most situations (i.e. “Whatever, I’m getting cheese fries.”).
where is this far away dog park where ellie can swim?? we need to take alfie there!
OMG it’s the best place on the planet. It’s a little more than 90 minutes away, but so worth it because we spend hours there and it literally wipes Ellie out for two days. It’s called Freedom Barks in Medford, NJ! http://www.freedombarks.com/
Hi Ali! I’m a long time reader but I’ve never commented. I have a 1.5 yr old and I got the statement about loving my dogs more than I can count. I love my kid but I still love the shit out of my dogs! Maybe those people just aren’t the same kind of pet parents?? It’s different but I wouldn’t compare the love. My dogs are still my babies regardless of what anyone says.
agree with this! i have 2 dogs and had them before our son was born. people loved to tell me that i would stop caring about our dogs once we had a child. not true!! i still love my dogs and yes the lack of sleep when they were puppies is very similar to the lack of sleep with a newborn. i don’t know why people feel the need to even say this kind of thing?? feels like more patronizing from people who are already parents. you’ll love ellie AND baby on the run. thankfully the well of love for dependents (human or non) runs deep 🙂
The gender stuff drives me NUTS. I saw this list the other day, which includes some really cute gender-neutral clothing. https://www.buzzfeed.com/nataliebrown/gender-neutral-baby-gifts-baby-shower/
I’m 32 weeks and also waiting to find out the sex! And I’m very sorry to say, the questions have not stopped for me. I have two boys so everyone assumes I desperately want a girl, which is not the case. It’s also hilarious when people act shocked I don’t know “but what if it’s a girl??”. Well obviously if that’s the case my husband will immediately leave the hospital, burn everything baby related we own, and we will buy everything brand new in pink on our way home. Duh. Glad you are feeling pretty good! I’m a new reader. You look great and so happy! You will absolutely make a great mom!
Ugh, yes the gender specific clothing. And just so many phrases on baby/toddler clothing. “Daddy’s little wing man” and “Ladies’ man” have been my least favorite. Last summer I really had to go out of my way to find a sun hat that did not have sharks on it for my son. So many sharks!
The boy/girl stuff drives me crazy, too! I will say that Target’s Cat and Jack line has some truly adorable gender neutral stuff that we love. And honestly, my son has pink sippy cups and pacifiers because they were cheaper so whatever!
And you will be a great mom. So excited for you guys!
We were team green too and it was awesome! People will hate it but just smile and nod lol. There are so few surprises left in life and it truly was the best surprise ever. We did get a lot of grey and splashed a ton of color in there with accents and toys. You can choose “boy” or “girl” too depending on what you like better. My daughter has so many blue sippy cups because they’re cheaper than the pink ones (dumb!)
Congrats to you, Brian and Ellie. I wish you guys the best.
I will read all the recaps of how baby is coming along! And heck yes on just listening to your body and doing what feels right each day!
You ARE going to be a GREAT mom! It’s been really fun watching my sister go through pregnancy (first grandkid in the family) and she’s 20 weeks already. They also are not finding out the gender and it’s pretty funny (at least for me on the outside) to hear everyone’s opinions about that! Good luck in the NJ half and if you need some acai bowls after, I know a place 😉 (aka my sister and I own a juice/smoothie/bowl shop)
YOU’RE GOING TO BE A GREAT MOM! Congratulations! I also had a beloved dog when I was pregnant and I haaaaaaaated when people would say stuff like, “if you think you love your dog, just wait until you have your baby!” Ugh. The love is *different,* but I did not love my dog any less when my baby arrived. I bet Ellie is going to love “her” baby!
I also hear you on the gender neutral stuff. We didn’t find out the baby’s sex until he was born and it was all gray, all day in the clothes department (until our friends gave us lots of adorable hand-me-downs).
I hope you keep feeling well! Hooray!
The gender asking is the worst! We know we are having a boy and people still ask if that is what we wanted, like really?!?! I don’t think I will ever get that being an acceptable question!
Ok- you may be my favorite pregnant person ever! I love how you are totally beaming in every single picture!! My baby days are long behind me, my “baby” just turned 4!! Seriously, you are going to be awesome! Can not wait to follow along with the rest of your pregnancy, here’s to a happy and healthy ride!!
Hi Ali! I’ve read your blog for awhile, and this is my first time commenting 🙂 My husband and I just had our first child, and we also did not find out the gender. Literally everyone thought we were having a boy because of how I was carrying (like actual strangers would stop me on the street to comment on my belly – thanks, stranger!). Baby ended up being a girl! Moral of the story: listen to no one and enjoy the ride 🙂
I did not find out the sex to any of my 3 kids. Yellow and ducks were the “color” for much of the gender neutral and it was so depressing. Not that ducks aren’t cute, but a child in all yellow? NO. Had a few boy or girl outfits on hand and it was much more fun “for me” to go shopping after then before… and now you can do everything online which is much easier, too. I didn’t buy any crib bedding/decor til after the babies were born, because why? I never felt the need to have any of that stuff until afterwards. You will figure it out.
It was really really hard to shop for baby when I was pregnant because EVERYTHING was gendered, and we didn’t know what we were having. It’s just so glaringly obvious when you’re trying to avoid it. It helped me not overbuy on newborn stuff though! Primary.com has really really great quality neutral baby basics.
So much momsplaining, so little time! Just wait… it gets worse. Crap, that’s me momsplaining isn’t it?!?
But seriously, you guys are going to make wonderful parents to a very lucky baby. I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes super duper well.
Momsplaining! Hahaha. I’m prepared for it and I know it’s inevitable! But it’s still LOL. Nothing has totally shocked me at this point, thought I am surprised by how many people have asked if we WANT a boy or a girl! It’s gonna be a crazy ride! Buckle up, Ali! (And thank you!)
I personally don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting a certain sex—totally normal!
It also kind of confuses me when people answer that question with “I just want a healthy baby” instead of “I don’t care either way.” One has nothing to do with the other; they’re not mutually exclusive. 🙂 of course a healthy baby is priority #1, but you can have a preference for a healthy boy or healthy girl. And if you don’t care either way,that’s cool too.
I’m also due in October (yay October babies!) this will be our second. I legit didn’t have a preference for the sex this time around, but I didn’t take offense to the question; most people have a preference even though it’s not going to affect how much you love the little goober. 🙂
You’re right, they’re not mutually exclusive! I like “I don’t care either way” as a response! And I’m not offended when people ask this, it just surprises me. If I say “I definitely want a boy” and then I have a girl, it’s going to be a lot of “Are you disappointed?” and eh, I hate that. (That being said, I don’t care either way! Cannot wait to meet the little one and find out!) YAY October babies! Congratulations to YOU!!
Big congrats to you, too! It’s so exciting! ?