Today, I’m here to talk about our wedding ceremony. Here’s what we’ve already covered…





A bit of background about our ceremony and our priorities:
Brian and I are not religious. My dad’s side of the family is Jewish, and my dad liked the idea of including a Jewish tradition. Since I refuse to walk actual circles around my husband-to-be, we went with the “breaking the glass” tradition.
I was adamant that our ceremony not include the word God. I also did not want to be referred to as a bride (as in, no “you may now kiss the bride” — we’ll let that be a mutual decision, thanks).




My dad walked me down the aisle, but there was no “who gives this woman away?” stuff. I’m a grown ass woman. Not a good or service to be traded. (Sorry. I clearly watched one too many Shonda Rimes shows last night.)








We asked Coach Cane to officiate our wedding. We knew right away that we wanted our ceremony to feel very personal, and having someone we know, love, and respect lead our ceremony was important to us. Coach Cane was the first person who came to mind.
Coach Cane has known Brian and me as individuals and as a couple, and he was the first person to discover we were dating. It meant the world to us that he not only agreed to take on this massive task, but that he also took it so seriously.




We wrote our own vows, refused to have any morbid “’til death do us part” phrasing, and skipped traditional readings in favor of something different. We asked my friend, Dee (married two years ago), and Brian’s family friend, Cindy (married for 30 years), to do “readings” that they wrote themselves.
Dee shared “how to survive the first year of marriage,” and then Cindy followed with “how to get through all the years that follow.” Both were hilarious, sweet, and completely original.




Brian’s mom’s boyfriend, Colin, is an amazing musician, so we asked him to play the music for our ceremony (you can’t have amplified sound in the Conservatory Garden). The bridesmaids walked down the aisle to him playing Ellie Goulding’s “Love Me Like You Do,” and my dad and I walked down to “Titanium,” which sounds awesome on the trumpet, FYI.








Any other questions? I think we’re good. Here’s how the day went down…
Right before we started our walk down the aisle, I turned to Coordinator Douglas and exclaimed, “We never made a rain plan! I love that about us!” We giddily hugged and laughed and I wish in our contract I had added a bullet point about Douglas being my BFF after the wedding. But he was only “hired family” for the one day. Sad. I miss him. (Douglas. Hello…it’s me. Hello from the other side.)




The girls started to walk as Colin played “Love Me Like You Do” on his newly-purchased-for-the-occasion flugelhorn. I didn’t hear too much of the music because I was chatting with my dad.












My dad and I started to walk and I tried to hold it together, but as soon as I heard “Titanium,” I lost it.












Everyone turned to stare at me and I remember saying to my dad, “holy shit, everyone’s looking at me,” and he replied, “no kidding!” So sassy. As we took our first steps, he looked at me and said, “Do you know how proud of you we are?” And I couldn’t handle that, so I was like, “LOCK IT UP, DAD.” I 100% ruined the nice moment he was trying to have because I didn’t want to totally lose my shit in front of all those people.




I remember looking at the 150 people watching me walk in and not recognizing a single face. It was surreal. I remember thinking, “Those must all be Brian’s friends I don’t know.” I literally could not recognize anyone. Walking down the aisle at your own wedding is one of the most insane, out-of-body experiences.




But I saw Brian. And I stared at him the entire walk down the aisle. I didn’t see a single other face.








I remember my dad putting his arms around Brian and me and telling us to take care of each other. OK, DAD, WE WILL!








Brian and I took each other’s hands, faced Coach Cane, and then the ceremony had begun!








The ceremony was incredible. Coach Cane knocked it out of the [Central!] park. It was funny, it was sweet, it was emotional, and it was entirely customized and personal. He spoke about our first interactions, about knowing we were dating (“no one runs 11 miles to Brooklyn at 6 AM to watch ‘a friend’ race his bike…”), and about the parallels between racing and marriage.




Dee and Cindy gave us advice that was sweet and hilarious, and then we launched into our vows.












I cried a little at the start of my vows, and I remember blurting out, “Well we knew this would happen!” So not only did I fail to hold it together, I also acknowledged my awkwardness, thus making it worse.












Brian’s vows were perfect. I don’t remember it all now, but I remember one line: “I want to stay young forever, but I can’t wait to grow old with you.” That killed me.








Then we exchanged the rings — delivered by Tyler! — and said our “I Dos,” and then Coach Cane did the formal stuff to pronounce us married.
















And then I think we kissed a lot, because the pictures show us kissing for a while.












We cheered, Brian broke the glass (so Jew-ish), and then I forgot my bouquet as we pranced down the makeshift aisle.












And the weather! The park has never looked better than it did that Saturday.








After the ceremony, we immediately went onto the lawn to take formal photos, which was the only stressful part of the day. We wanted to take a lot of photos, but we were a bit rushed, so I called it early and sent everyone to the reception-bound buses.




Then Brian and I took some time alone with Erin (photographer) and Snyder, our videographer. We took some fun photos (and deep breaths) and then got in the car to take us to the reception. The plan was to go with Erin and Snyder, but at the last minute Brian was like, “Actually, let’s be alone.” So they went in one car and we took another, and I loved that time.








We geeked out over being “Just Married” and we drank champagne. It was one of my favorite parts of the day.




Then we hit a little bump and I spilled champagne all over my face and my dress. It’s fine.
We did it!
Up next: party time!
All photos by Erin Baiano, the picture magician.
15 Responses
I love all your wedding posts! I got married about a month before you and had the same moment with my dad just before walking down the aisle and ruined it as well because I also did not want to lose my shit in front of 200 people. haha I felt so guilty after but I am glad to hear I am not the only one to do this! haha
I listed to a flugelhorn cover of Titatanium while I read this. Amazing. Congrats!
I am LOVING these posts! What an amazing wedding! And from reading your posts I feel like I was there.
LOVE your dress and love the idea of an outdoors ceremony! You lucked out on the weather. What a gorgeous day!!
I love it!
This made me actually weepy because you guys look so happy and it reminded me of my own wedding. Walking down the aisle was THE most incredible moment, I totally agree.
Also, I got dog poo on my wedding dress during the photos, so you totally beat me on the ‘poised and sophisticated’ front there.
Seriously…you guys look SO happy.
I loved this a lot. A+ for the strong feminist tone and separation of God and marriage. For religious people I’m sure it’s really important God be included but I’m not religious either so I get not inviting God to the ceremony. 🙂
I LOVE DEE. that’s all.
This is incredibly beautiful and heart warming. I can think of no one else who would be deserving and perfectly fitting for this moment and this day. I so wish I could have been a fly on the wall, or a lady bug in a bush rather! 😉 My big thing was I want to be barefoot going down the isle and during our ceremony – so I did it.
Also, can I just tell you how much it warms my heart that this sentence is written grammatically correct, “Coach Cane has known Brian and me as individuals and as a couple….”? I know writing is your profession and most people wouldn’t have caught this, but as a former teacher, I can appreciate your eloquent wording, perfect grammar, and nicely placed punctuation. 🙂
OMG!!! Loved every part of this!
I suppose you must now love mother earth for giving you such as lovely weather on your wedding day and adding that breeze during the wedding kiss as a plus!
BTW, little Tyler with his hand on his face jus melts my heart!!!
Thank you so much for sharing, I wish you both a lifetime of happiness (especially since I feel like I’ve known you for so long ’cause that’s what the internet does to you lol).
I love reading your wedding updates! They are hilarious and so endearing! Y’all are adorable and it is so awesome!
I do have to ask (as I am getting married in 6 months) – your belt/sash…where did you get it?! It is gorgeous!
Thank you! And YAY, congratulations! My belt/sash was part of my dress! (It actually had a flower on it originally but I was like NOPE, bye flower. Not my style. Wanted it to be more simple.)
Love this so much! Could you guys BE any more cute? I say no…
Gorgeous. Love it and I swear, your spirit is uhmazing!
Gah! LOVE how you did your vows and went all untraditional with so much of it. we did too and it meant so much to US and that’s all that mattered! beautiful!! congratulations again!!