The Two Days Before

The two days before our wedding were two of the most intense, stressful days I can recall.

Nothing traumatic or tragic happened — not by any means. In fact, we were pretty much sticking exactly to the schedule we had mapped out, which is practically unheard of for both Brian and my parents. #goteampunctual

There were just all these emotions — happy! stressed! exhausted! excited! busy! — and all these people, and it all felt incredibly overwhelming.

The only pictures I have from this two-day period are rehearsal dinner photos. So you're about to get a lot of them, in unrelated text breaks! "Sorry" —Justin Bieber, but not me
The only pictures I have from this two-day period are rehearsal dinner photos. So you’re about to get a lot of them, in unrelated text breaks! “Sorry” —Justin Bieber, but not me

Being so emotional made me nervous for our wedding. If I couldn’t handle all the excitement of the pre-wedding stuff, how was I going to survive the actual wedding day? (It worked out fine. We’ll get there.)

Brian had taken Thursday off from work, which was very helpful, because this was our last day to get shit done. We woke up early, I went for a run in the park (duh), and he went for a bike ride.

Clear skies. Full heart. Can't lose.
Clear skies. Full heart. Can’t lose.

Then, we trekked over to our reception spot where we were planning to meet my parents, who were driving down from New Hampshire.

Now is the time to remind you — since everyone was constantly reminding me — that the weekend we got married was a pretty Big Deal in New York City. Not because of us. But duh.

No, we got married in New York at the same time the world’s three biggest power players were coming to town: the Pope, President Obama, and Beyoncé.

Keep calm and SHUT IT. JK LOVE YOU.
Keep calm and SHUT IT. JK LOVE YOU.

Now is also the time to remind you — because everyone was freaking out about it — that there is gridlock traffic every day in New York City. So we are unfazed by it. But everyone traveling to the wedding from out of town was losing their shit over the Pope being here. Even after sending an email to all of our out-of-town guests alerting them about additional traffic and street closures, and explaining exactly how to get from there to here, everyone was still freaking out.

And freaking me out.

That was the biggest source of my anxiety the week of the wedding: everyone else freaking out and talking about it nonstop. I must have received 45 different emails from various guests with links to street closures saying, “FYI!” And I wanted to be like DUDE I KNOW, but instead I wrote nice responses.

TYLER NEVER EMAILED ME. Because he is perfect. And doesn't have a phone or computer or email address or ability to spell just yet.
TYLER NEVER EMAILED ME. Because he is perfect. And doesn’t have a phone or computer or email address or ability to spell just yet.

YES, everyone was trying to be helpful. But every email gave me anxiety. I just wanted people to relax and be happy and chill. Or email my dad instead of me. The good news is that everyone made it. I think.

Anyway. We weren’t worried about the Pope and All His Jazz, but everyone else was, and that was stressing me out in a big way.

UNRELATED. MY BAD. This is Douglas!
UNRELATED. MY BAD. This is Douglas!

My parents gave themselves something like 14 hours to drive down from New Hampshire, and they made it in like five minutes.

Turns out, the Pope being in the city the day before the wedding (he left the night before the wedding, which was perfect) was the best thing that ever could’ve happened! The crowds were contained to the areas he was in throughout the day, and everyone else was so scared to come to the city that it was empty. Everyone was making it to town in record time! That made me very happy.

This post is all about being stressed, but I'm laughing in every photo, so I don't know. I guess it wasn't so bad.
This post is all about being stressed, but I’m laughing in every photo, so I don’t know. I guess it wasn’t so bad.

Back to Thursday…

Brian and I met my parents to unload all of our stuff for the reception, and then we all drove downtown to the hotel where we would be shacking up for the weekend.

We got checked into my parents’ room and went to work assembling the welcome bags for guests staying at the hotel. We put together 40 of them, including: my homemade granola, my mom’s homemade Chex Mix, bottled water, NYC postcards, apples from my favorite orchard in New Hampshire, gold sunglasses to wear to the wedding, and a little welcome note/infographic designed by my dear friend Scott.

What a view! That's basically why I picked this hotel. Also the rates.
What a view! That’s basically why I picked the hotel. Also the rates.

Then, Brian went to drop off the place cards for the rehearsal dinner, my dad met up with his family as they started to arrive, and my mom and I did the spa thing.

Look how calm and relaxed I look!
Look how calm and relaxed I look!

We had a lovely time getting manicures and pedicures, and then she got a massage while I “got a spray tan.” OR SO I THOUGHT. I had these horrible racerback tan lines from a summer on the run, and wanted them fixed. And when I made my appointment, the lady on the phone was all, “Yeah girl, we can fix that 4 U.” But then in real life, that’s not what happened at all.

Instead, I got a “Scrub and Color,” which meant I was hosed down and exfoliated (very nice) from head to toe, and then the dude used a paintbrush to use something to “enhance my natural color.”

And that is the story of why I still have visible tan lines in our wedding photos. I was not thrilled about this, but what can you do? Nothing. Namaste. My mom enjoyed her massage, and my nails didn’t chip until the honeymoon. Score.

My lovely makeup artist, attempting to "fix it."
My lovely makeup artist, attempting to “fix it.”

By the time we got back to the hotel, it was later than I wanted it to be. My dad is a gem and the welcome bags were just about finished, and my dad’s family had started to arrive, so we spent some time visiting, and then I just got this feeling of “I need to go home and lay in my bed right now.”

If you ever need someone on hand who is capable of getting shit done, this is your guy.
If you ever need someone on hand who is capable of getting shit done, this is your guy.

We were planning to have dinner with my parents, but with everyone arriving, it got crazy, so Brian and I snuck out and got ourselves a steak dinner and a decent amount of wine. And then we slept.

And when we woke up on Friday, it was the most beautiful morning in all the land.

Brian and I woke up, saw the incredible sunrise happening, and bolted to the roof (in our PJs) to take it all in. We knew this was the calm before the crazy.
Brian and I woke up, saw the incredible sunrise happening, and bolted to the roof (in our PJs) to take it all in. We knew this was the calm before the crazy.

Friday is a blur. I remember a lot of waiting and some crying.

According to my calendar, I went for a run. I don’t remember doing that. Good job, though, Feller!

Eventually Brian and I packed our bags to move into the hotel for the next two days. I had arranged early check-ins for each of us (we stayed in separate rooms Friday night), yet when we got to the hotel around noon, neither rooms were ready.

“We’ll call you when they’re ready,” they said. So Brian went for a walk, and I hung around the hotel greeting everyone as they arrived, and no one ever called and no one at the front desk could ever help me find out when the room would be ready or what the status was.

HELLO. IT'S ME.
HELLO. IT’S ME.

Our rehearsal was taking place at the hotel at 4 PM. I still needed to shower, unpack all my stuff, go over my vows, and take care of a few other last-minute things. And frankly, I just wanted some quiet alone time.

At 3:45 PM, my room still wasn’t ready, and no one on staff was being helpful. So I had the meltdown of all meltdowns. In the hotel lobby. With a lot of people around. I remember crying and being embarrassed that I was crying, but also I really just needed to get into my room and yeah… (This sounds dramatic, but the truth is that the hotel was terrible from start to finish. That was our biggest complaint about the weekend. The views were divine and the rooms were lovely, but the staff was a huge disappointment. Not ideal when you have 100+ guests staying there for the weekend…)

"Good LUCK, dude."
“Good LUCK, dude.”

Finally, we got into the room (after having to search the entire hotel for all of our luggage that was being held like, you know, our semi-important wedding clothes) and my bridesmaids leapt to action.

Michael shoved me down in a chair and started braiding my hair. L-One started hanging everything up and was handing me champagne by the bottle. Becky ran to get our wedding coordinator so I could have a moment alone with him, and Conroy (my former Craigslist roommate) was making me laugh and playing my favorite jams the whole time.

I will never forget that 15-minute period. I was so stressed and overwhelmed and anxious, and they just got shit done for me. Who run the world? Those girls, I’ll tell ya.

And thank goodness for Douglas.
And thank goodness for Douglas.

And then I was the girl who was like 20 minutes late for her own wedding rehearsal. I was still feeling emotional, but I got to the room where Brian and Coach Cane and everyone was waiting, and the best thing ever happened: Tyler saw me walk in and ran over and wrapped himself up in my arms.

So then I was great.

The best.
The best.
Everyone is being serious and I am getting the best hug of my life.
Everyone is being serious and I am getting the best hug of my life.

The rehearsal went fine. Coordinator Douglas walked everyone through how the ceremony would go, and we all mostly half-listened and laughed, and then Tyler said he had to go to the bathroom and he wanted me to take him, and he is my best friend, so I did. In the middle of our rehearsal.

Abby was there, too. She slept through it all.
Abby was there, too. She slept through it all.

Here are some pictures from the rehearsal, if you’re into that sort of thing…

This is my dad placing bets on how long it would take my mom to cry when we rehearsed walking down the aisle. It did not take long!
This is my dad placing bets on how long it would take my mom to cry when we rehearsed walking down the aisle. It did not take long!
Pope Cane in action!
Pope Cane in action!
MORE HILARIOUS TALK OF MARRIAGE!
MORE HILARIOUS TALK OF MARRIAGE!
We fake did it!
We fake did it!
And I forgot my fake bouquet! (Spoiler: I forgot it at the wedding, too. Oops!)
And I forgot my fake bouquet! (Spoiler: I forgot it at the wedding, too. Oops!)
Signing the marriage license! (Should I have gotten that back from the City Clerk yet? Did I lose it? Does that matter?)
Signing the marriage license! (Should I have gotten that back from the City Clerk yet? Did I lose it? Does that matter?)

Once we were done practicing marriage, we walked a few blocks west for our rehearsal dinner at Blue Smoke!

That was also a blur. I remember a lot of people (52 of them), and I remember trying to walk around and chat with everyone, and I remember these really buttery rolls that were amazing. Go get them. People seemed to be big fans of the food (it’s the best), and Brian gave a nice toast and gave me my Bride hat and toilet paper with pictures of a bride and groom on it. #crohnsbride

WELCOME TO OUR HUMBLE DINNER.
WELCOME TO OUR HUMBLE DINNER.
Brian giving a toast that I DEFINITELY remember. (No, I don't.)
Brian giving a toast that I DEFINITELY remember. (No, I don’t.)
Tyler, being a ham and stealing the show. As he does.
Tyler, being a ham and stealing the show. As he does.

After a several-hours-long dinner, we made our way back to the hotel and I got a few moments alone with Brian, which we both needed.

Marry ya later!
Marry ya later!

Then, Conroy and I had a sleepover like old times. It was my last night as a Feller!

Except not, because I still haven’t legally changed my name. It seems like a lot of work. I’ll do it eventually.

Next up: The actual wedding day! No more of this “pre-wedding” crap!

Ali

Ali

8 Responses

  1. I too had a meltdown before my rehearsal! I think it helps you to get it over with before the actual wedding day. That really sucks about the hotel, I’d be so pissed! You looked beautiful at your wedding

  2. It does all go by so quickly! I have to say one thing that baffled me with my sisters was seeing how many emails/texts my she got this past weekend from people about problems. Like if you had a question about how close the church was to venue time and logistics that was definitely something for prior to rehearsal/wedding day. My sis and I hijacked her phone so she couldn’t be bothered eventually!

  3. The few days leading up to my wedding were some of the most stressful, intense, emotional ever, and I had a small, very organized, non-stressful wedding. I know exactly how you feel. But! You made it! And you had a beautiful wedding! (and now you’re married and never have to throw a wedding again!)

  4. Love ALL wedding posts!!!
    Seriously though how much drama can a bride ask for when she chooses a hotel??? Could they have failed more?
    I have to give it to Brian for his choice of a very personal gift with the toilet paper!!!

    Please keep the posts coming!!!

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about ali

I’m the creator of the Ali on the Run blog and the host of the Ali on the Run Show podcast. I’m also a freelance writer and editor, a race announcer, a runner and marathoner, a mom, and a huge fan of Peanut M&Ms, Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again (way better than the first one!), and reliving my glory days as a competition dancer in the early 2000s. I’m really happy you’re here.
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