I don’t think I’ve ever done one of these blog survey things. I’ve always had plenty to say on my own.
But on this drizzly Tuesday morning, I feel like writing, and yet I’m suffering from a bit of writer’s block. (This does not bode well for a full-time freelance writer whose livelihood and, uh, paycheck relies entirely on the ability to write, and to do it well.)
So while I let my deep life thoughts continue to marinate like a juicy piece of medium-rare meat soaking in a vat of A1 (SEE? I cannot write.), I will share with you some random facts about myself. Some may call this narcissism. I call it “The Art of Blogging.” And then maybe you will tell me something fun about yourself in return?
This isn’t even an official “blog survey,” either. I Googled “Fun Getting To Know You Questions” and copy/pasted the questions I was most interested in, like a magician.
Here we go!
If you could live anywhere, where would it be? EASY. Giraffe Manor.
I would also like homes in Hawaii, Utah, Australia, and Italy, as well as a penthouse in New York City. I don’t think I will ever be able to fully abandon NYC.
What are your biggest fears? Snakes. Hairless cats. Scientology.
What did you want to be when you were small? A flying horse. There’s still time!!! Never give up on your dreams.
Where is your happy place? Africa is the first one that comes to mind, of course.
But also Central Park. The Conservatory Garden holds a very special place in my heart, but I also just love entering the park at Engineers’ Gate (90th Street and Fifth Avenue) and hanging out at Bernie’s Bench for a while. And the Reservoir. Always the Reservoir.
If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be? Chocolate soufflé. A meal-sized portion of it. (This is my favorite question to ask people when I first meet them. Try it! And wait for every guy you know to say “my mom’s lasagna.”) But I would want some pizza, too.
If money were no object, what would you do all day? Bring puppies to visit sick kids and their families. Make them happy. Make them smile. Give love. Spread love.
If you could share a meal with any four individuals, living or dead, who would they be? Lin-Manuel Miranda, Ellen DeGeneres, Amy Poehler, and Tina Fey. Then for dessert, we would invite Will Ferrell, Michelle Obama, Adam Brody as Seth Cohen, and Brian to join us. Celine Dion would be there, too, singing for us the whole time, and Beyoncé would show up to perform a surprise duet with her. Best party ever! We would eat chocolate soufflé, and Britney Spears and Taylor Swift would be our waitresses. We would tip them very well, and then they would donate their tips to charity.
What’s your favorite holiday? Thanksgiving is great because it revolves largely around food, plus casual 5Ks followed by naps are encouraged. But now that there are two little ones in our family (my nephew and niece, Tyler and Abby), Christmas is super fun and special. As a pretty non-religious family, we’re more about just spending time together than celebrating what the greeting cards tell us to embrace.
What’s your biggest guilty pleasure? If you think I’m gonna say I feel guilty about watching weekend-long Keeping Up With the Kardashians marathons while eating a whole pizza and not wearing pants, you’re wrong. That is what I love to do, and there is zero guilt associated with any of it.
What was the last book you read? So You Want to Be A Dancer? By Matthew Shaffer. All in one sitting. For work.
Are you a clean or messy person? Actually, both. I am very clean in that I do dishes and dust and generally like my surroundings to be tidy. The thought of an unmade bed is paralyzing to me. But I’m actually pretty messy and I have piles of shit everywhere.
What kitchen appliance do you use every day? Seamless.com.
What’s your favorite movie? Center Stage, Zoolander, Step Brothers, Pitch Perfect, High School Musical, Mean Girls, High School Musical 3: Senior Year. In that order. I have very refined taste in films.
What did you collect growing up? Oh jeez, everything. I was such a pack rat because in my mind, everything had feelings, and I couldn’t bear to throw things away and make them sad. Like even my rocks and stickers (collected both of ’em) had feelings. So yeah, stickers, rocks, Beanie Babies (is my Princess Diana one worth millions yet?), Barbies, and during one very strange phase, tadpoles from a nearby pond. And stuffed animals. So many stuffed animals.
If you were ruler of a country, what would be the first law you would introduce? Well first, we’re in trouble, people! Get out while you still can! But if you care to stick around: 1. Be kind. 2. Make friends, not enemies. 3. Do yoga. 4. Don’t be an asshole.
What is the most interesting thing you can see from your kitchen window? LOL, do people have windows in their kitchens? We certainly do not. But from our bedroom and living room we have pretty lovely views of the East River and the Triborough Bridge (or the “RFK Bridge,” which I will never call it).
What was your first job? I was an assistant in the baby dance classes at my dance studio and of course started a Baby-Sitter’s Club with my friend Becky. (I was such a Stacey, which is basically why I live in New York City now. And I totally wanted diabetes when I was growing up because she made it seem so trendy. Insulin was the ultimate glam accessory.)
But my first real, you-get-a-paycheck-now job was as a shop hand at a local printing company. I loved it. I was 16 and I would go in with my discman and I would spend eight hours every day collating printed materials, hand-binding books and manuals, shrink wrapping them, and doing very specific light manual labor. And then I worked at Abercrombie & Fitch, where I learned the art of the Side Belt and was instructed to wear flip flops year-round.
How many languages do you speak? Well, I minored in Spanish in college and so let’s say I speak 1.5 languages. On a good day, I’m fluent in English and “conversational” in Spanish, which basically means I vaguely remember how to conjugate verbs and think I’m an ace after 2.5 glasses of champagne. (College kids, I say don’t minor in a language. It’s a great skill, but unless you’re really planning to use it, you can always take online classes or something instead and then minor in something more useful, like marketing or advertising or finance or Snapchat.)
Who knows you best? On the day-to-day, the person who can best predict exactly what’s on my mind at any given time is my tiger-in-crime, Lucy.
The person I can talk to about anything and with whom four hours feels like five minutes is BFF Michael.
The person who most understands and supports my desire to still want to be a flying horse is my mom.
My brother shares all of my quirky traits and also shares my ailments (Crohn’s disease, shingles, WTF is wrong with us?). But the person who knows me best overall? Brian.
YOUR TURN, PLEASE. So I don’t feel so lame. Answer one or all of the above!