It’s February. It’s cold. Blahbiddyblah.
I don’t mind the cold too much when it comes to running — I don’t belong to a gym so I have no treadmill access, nor do I have treadmill patience, and there’s something so special about coming home after a very cold run and taking a very hot shower.
But I’ve been having this really intense craving lately.
I really want to put on my best sweatpants (the zebra ones) and my favorite sweatshirt (“I’m Just Here for the Savasana”) and my coziest slippers (rainbow-print; this outfit is hideous), and do a puzzle.
But I don’t own any puzzles. So instead I’ve been politely asking Brian to play Yahtzee with me on the weekends because I’m awesome at it and I always win (don’t tell me it doesn’t require skills), but really what I want to do is a puzzle. I haven’t done a puzzle in at least a decade.
On that completely irrelevant and probably boring note, this is a post of all the random thoughts going through my semi-frozen brain at this time. Play along. Thanks.
That phrase “all the feels.” Please make it stop. I hate it. And when people say it, I think it makes them sound dumb.
Peeing in the shower: yay or nay? (No judgments.)
Nose blowing in the shower: yay or nay? (I know this is gross, but have you tried it? Try it.)
Sometimes I wonder: Will the world ever fully grasp the difference between “famous” and “infamous?” I dream of living in a place where people do not just throw around the word infamous when they want to describe something or someone “really really famous.” That’s not what it means.
I think my body doesn’t do so well with hummus, and I’m wondering if that’s a thing. I’ve had it twice recently, and both times I felt sick the entire rest of the day. Kind of…bloated. And just generally in pain and feeling awful. It’s not Crohn’s-related because that’s different and very specific. I think it’s a ground-up chickpeas situation. So again, I ask—nay, beg—of you…is this a thing? Dr. Google wasn’t helpful. Do I need to quit hummus?! And also, is Nutella an appropriate substitute for any place I would have previously put hummus? LMK. (Mom, that means “let me know.”)
Never have I ever…not been the first person to arrive at a fitness class. Why do I always, no matter what time I leave my apartment, arrive 25–30 minutes early? Isn’t that a colossal waste of my time? And yet, I can’t quit this habit.
Speaking of fitness classes: Mile High Run Club. I’m guessing you’ve heard of it by now. It’s a group fitness treadmill studio. Think spin class, but with treadmills instead of spin bikes.
Nike invited me to a class at Mile High Run Club the other night, and I was super hesitant (running fast is hard, wahhhh!) but also excited because I love Nike and hey, free class, cool!
The workout consisted of 12 sets of 90-second intervals: the first at marathon pace, the second and third at 10K pace, and the fourth at 5K pace. Repeat three times. Sweat. Die. We got short recoveries in between, and the inclines varied between 0.5 and 2.0. I didn’t even notice the incline, but the 5K intervals at a 2.0 incline were tough as hell.
In fact, all of the intervals were tough as hell, because when I got there they asked me my “5K PR, or my 5K pace” and I had nooooooo clue, so I gave them my super ambitious pace (“7:30s would be nice, give or take?”) and they gave me a pace bracelet with suggested paces for the workout (mine were 7.8 for marathon pace, 8.5 for 10K pace, and 8.8 for 5K pace — sorry I forget what those translate to in non-treadmill terms). But I’m pretty sure my “marathon pace” was a 7:40 pace and LOL.
During the final interval, they turned the lights all the way down, blasted the music, and told us to go as hard as we could. I got my treadmill up to 9.4 and was afraid I might fall off, but I didn’t. I just stared myself down very aggressively in the mirror while track superstar English Gardner stood right next to me egging me on and definitely not letting me slow down. I loved her. She was like, “Yeah girl, just do it,” and I was like “NIKE.”
I loved the class and got a really amazing workout. I’m not so good at pushing myself to exhaustion during speed workouts on my own, so I appreciate the way this class forces you to do it but makes it really fun. I am very grateful for the opportunity, and want to share the Mile High Run Club love! The studio is only in NYC right now, so if you’re local and want to try it out, let me hook you up. Go to the website, create an account, and then use the code RUNFORIT at checkout to get a free class!
Here are my current thoughts on television.
- Who are all these people on Grey’s Anatomy? I hardly know any of the characters.
- Scandal is batshit insane and I’m not into it but I won’t quit it. I think that “Iran” is actually Papa Pope, but I hope it’s not because I’m so over that guy and his Jedi mind tricks.
- I miss Parenthood so much already.
- I am ashamed to admit that I watched all of Girls from start to current in, like…a week. I hated every single episode and I find every character gratingly annoying. Well, Adam is pretty funny, and Elijah is pure gold. Shoshanna is hysterically if completely unrealistic, and I did like the episode where she accidentally did crack and was obsessed with moving up tot he front row in kickboxing class. Preach, girl. But Hannah (the worrrrrrrst), Marnie, and Jessa are terrible. And yet, I watched every episode in tiny fits of rage. I’m hopeless.
There is something so horribly cheesy that I want to do before Brian and I get married. I want to spend a day watching all my favorite TV wedding episodes. Here is my list. Note: I am not including Monica and Chandler’s wedding because I have it memorized and I just don’t need to see it again. “James, James Brolin, are you sure?” Classic.
- Ben + Leslie Knope, Parks & Recreation
- Dwight + Angela, The Office
- Jim + Pam, The Office (my favorite wedding episode ever)
- Zack + Kelly, Saved by the Bell
- April + Andy, Parks & Recreation
- Burt + Carole, Glee
- Crosby + Jasmine, Parenthood (teeeear-jerker!)
- David + Donna Martin, Beverly Hills 90210
- Phoebe + Mike, Friends
- Charlotte + Harry, Sex and the City
- Steve + Miranda, Sex and the City
Do you want to come to my TV Wedding Viewing Party? Please RSVP in the comments and let me know which animal onesie you plan to wear and what toppings you want for your pancakes or which fillings you like in your quesadillas.
The other day, Brian asked if I was going to invite “my guy” to our wedding. I thought Brian was “my guy,” but apparently not, so I was confused. “Uh, who’s my guy?” “You know…your guy! From the show!” WTF? Ten minutes later, I realize Brian is talking about AC Slater AKA Mario Lopez. I still don’t know why he’s “my guy.” I think it has to do with those two times (yeah two times) I invited him to my birthday party. Once in fifth grade, then again at the 2011 New York City Marathon Expo and I invited him in person. AC AKA MARIO IF YOU ARE READING THIS WE WOULD LOVE TO HAVE YOU AT OUR NUPTIAL CELEBRATION.
I see people doing pull-ups like it ain’t no thaaaang. Fun fact about me: I can’t even hang. Put me on a monkey bar or pull-up bar, and I literally cannot even hold my body weight. How do I become able to do a pull-up without practicing (and failing) doing pull-ups? What’s the easy shortcut way? Surely there is one…I own a Shake Weight, so maybe something with that?
One last thing…
Lyons Den Power Yoga is hosting a 40-Day Challenge, and you should do it. I’m doing it. It’s going to be life-changing and inspiring and amazing, and I’m so on board with that. This post is already very long and rambley, so I will just direct you here to read more about the challenge and what it entails (unlimited yoga, Baron Baptiste’s book, and weekly group sessions that will be fantastic) and how you can sign up. It starts Tuesday, so commit now and get amped! We can practice our handstands together!
Hey, Happy Galentine’s Day and then Happy Valentine’s Day!
Players gonna play play play play play.