Hawaii Part II: Maui!

When we left off, Brian and I had just gotten engaged, which was a pretty awesome surprise. And, thanks to his meticulously planned itinerary that I didn’t ask any questions about because I’m lazy and was just along for the ride, we got a little honeymoon-type situation the day after his proposal! So after five wonderful and very active days in Oahu, we got to jet off to Maui for five days of relaxing and basking in our new little world of happiness and joy.

Again, these are the notes from my phone. These are not my post-vacation “I’ve had time to think about everything and really process it all” thoughts. They’re my brain vomit. And I will say that from this point on, the notes are much less “here is a nice, simple explanation of what we did” and much more “OMGGGGG so drunk off champagne all the time and everything is perfect.” You’ve been warned.

Proceed with patience…

Saturday, December 6: Was too excited to sleep at 4 AM. Got up at 6 and ran 5 incredible miles along the beach path in Honolulu toward Diamond Head. Shamelessly stared at my left hand a lot. Showered, packed my loads and loads of shit, returned rental car, got to airport, and boarded flight to Maui! Flight was roughly eight minutes long I think, but I forgot to time it. Landed, immediately got bags and rental car. Drove to Andaz Wailea and OMG. It’s the most amazing resort.

I am drunk off champagne but seriously. We were greeted by people who took my heavy suitcase and our big car and we got leis and the girl who checked us in was sooooo nice and she is invited to the wedding for sure.

They got our room ready and we drank lemonade with lavender, and our room was overlooking the ocean with a sexy rain shower. We went to the pool and I got a most amazing drink and we got food and then we went in the ocean.

Went back to the room and Lone had sent us champagne! So special and nice.

Then we drove to the bike shop and I took off my nail polish at a salon. Brian got his rental bike and then we came back and drank the bottle of champagne and FaceTimed with mom, and she was really wine drunk, and then we had a nice chat and then went to dinner at the resort where everyone was so nice.

We got the best table outside and a live band played “All of You” by John Legend and I cried. Inhaled the lobster ceviche appetizer and was embarrassed by how fast I ate it. The waiter told me I was a “delicate little flower,” which was a lie he was making because I ate it all so fast. Got ahi as my entree and Brian got risotto. Passed out drunk.

Sunday, December 7: Up early so I could run and Brian could ride up Haleakala. Beautiful idiot. That doesn’t sound fun at all. Idiot whom I love and is ambitious while I just want to lay down. The run was lovely even though the heat killed me and I walked a lot.

Spent the day alone by the pool and cooked my skin (I WORE SUNSCREEN, DAD, DON’T WORRY) and made friends, and ate grilled cheese with waffle fries. Went back to the room around 3:30, opened up the doors to let the fresh air in, did a load of free laundry at the hotel score, turned on computer for the first time all trip. Bird flew into the room. Stared at me. Got dinner when Brian got back at Morimoto. Such good, fresh fish! Got drinks with college friend who is also in Hawaii. Sleep.

Monday, December 8: Too excited to sleep again. Finally got up around 7:30 AM. Shared engagement news on social media. Stared at phone and computer in bed for a while enjoying all the love.

Ate at amazing hotel buffet. Got a custom chocolate chip pancake, pork bun with scrambled egg, and so much tasty food. Got attacked by a bird. He ate the doughnut right out of my hand!!! I screamed and everyone stared and Brian said that was his second favorite part of the trip.

Went snorkeling! Brian loved it, which made me happy. I am afraid of the ocean and don’t really like fish, and I saw a death piranha barracuda and freaked out, then I was done.

Drove around through the lava rocks and then laid out by the hotel pool for a bit. Swam, then showered, got yummy sandwiches from the hotel, and hit the road to Haleakala! Drove up through the clouds, which was crazy cool (hey isn’t that a TLC album?), and couldn’t believe Brian rode up it the day before. I just don’t see how that is fun.

The view of the crater and the world below from the top was beyond anything I have ever seen.

The sunset was so beautiful I almost cried actual tears.

Then it got dark, we saw the sky full of stars (like that Coldplay song), and embarked on the hour-long drive back down.

I tried to be helpful at every switchback by yelling SLOW DOWN and dramatically gripping the side of the passenger seat. Then had dinner again at Morimoto. Brian got drunk off four sakes and said, “I like these big spoons. They’re like shovels…to my mouth.” Got some doughnuts for dessert. Did not get attacked by a bird. Good day.

Tuesday, December 9: Last full day wahhhhhhh. Finally adjusted to the five-hour time change. Perfect. Woke up around 7:30 AM, did a quick lift at the gym, then ran a great 8 miles along the beach path.

Loved it! But it was narrow and got crowded with leisurely olds out taking a morning stroll. Then I had to do some work. It’s fine.

Laid out at the adult pool and got an adult grilled cheese and it had garlic in it. I dipped it in ranch dressing. Low point or high point? Whatever, delicious.

Brian came back from his bike ride and we went kayaking! I sat in the front and did all the work. The way out into the wind was really challenging for me and my lack of upper body strength. On the way back, I fake paddled but really I was just sitting there and not helping. Then we swam in the ocean and laid out by a new-to-us pool for a bit.

Thennnn showered and went off to dinner at Mama’s Fish House, which people rave about. Brian said a lot of nice things when we sat down at dinner, and that made me happy, and the outside of the restaurant was very cool and right on the water with big waves.

My favorite dish was the sashimi three ways. Salmon, and ahi, and ono, OH YES. The crab cake was good, too. And the champagne. And the cocktail.

Then we drove home, I packed my 3,583-pound suitcase, and now it is our last night in Hawaii. It is a real tragedy.

Wednesday, December 10: Up at 5:30 AM to make the most of our last few hours. Ran along the beach path, which was really nice because I beat the heat and could finally run most of the little hills instead of walking them. Strength. Agility. Power.

Joined Brian by the pool for 30 minutes, took a work call, and proceeded to shower and get ready to leave the happiest place on earth. Did a little gift shopping and got the famous fish tacos at Coconuts. They put an apostrophe in “Coconut’s” which I don’t like, but I guess Coconut is the name of a cat or something and he owns all the tacos. Tacocat spelled backward is tacocat.

Easy flight from Maui to Honolulu, had a quick layover and got burgers from Gordon Biersch, then Brian bought me a lei.

Then we boarded the stupid plane for the stupid red-eye flight home.

Spent a while doing freelance work, then took an Ambien. It worked.

Got some solid but sort of shitty sleep and woke up in time for our 6 AM descent into New York. My teeth felt slimy and my breath tasted horrible. Yay New York yay. Then I brushed my teeth and went to work.

The end.

BUT IT’S ONLY THE BEGINNING, AWWWWW.

You probably didn’t miss “Hawaii Part I: Oahu,” but just in case. Here you go.