A WednesDAY In The Life

Haha. WednesDAY.

So this blogging thing. Eesh. I’ve been not awesome about it, which is sad (probably only for me) because I’ve had plenty to share.

I’m training for a marathon!

I have a coach!

I’m the healthiest I’ve been in, oh, three years!

I’m pretty happy!

But today, I’m here to share with the world a day in my life. Because why not? Last Wednesday, I decided to take very diligent notes throughout the day so I could divulge every little thought throughout my day. Or at least a few crucial points. Mainly garbage. With that preface, here is my rundown from Wednesday, July 23…

4:30 AM — Alarm goes off. Oh god, no. Immediately turn on bedside lamp so I don’t snooze. Lay in bed quickly scrolling social media on my phone. Email first, then Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. In that order. Always in that order.

4:34 AM — Up and into the bathroom. For a while.

Eventually leave bathroom for long enough to turn on every light in the apartment and the news. Then back to the bathroom. Even at my very healthiest, this is standard Crohn’s girl life.

Morning core time. I have a moderately long morning routine (which is why I have 12-pack abs somewhere), but it’s shortened today because I have places to be. Skip glute work, save dips for later, and go right to abs. Today it’s 500 crunches. It’s a safe assumption dips and planks will happen later at November Project. Think about how crunches are like, the least effective of all the ab workouts, but do them anyway. Old habits.

No workout clothes are clean. Sniff test a few hamper items. Good enough to go.

I hate the smell of Body Glide in the morning, but I know the shower later will be rough without it. The joys of my “new, healthy body” = chafing! Everywhere!

One more bathroom trip. Hopefully.

5:22 AM — Out the door. Take trash and recycling with me as I go. See it’s no longer light out when I leave in the morning.

Today’s workout plan is a few easy miles followed by a November Project workout.

5:30 AM — Running around the Reservoir. My happy place. I say that about a lot of places, but that 1.57-mile Reservoir loop really does feel like home.

5:32 AM — Swallow a bug while running. Gag a little.

5:35 AM — Signs of life! Finally see another runner. Oddly quiet in the park this morning. Runner is going the wrong way around the Reservoir. Dislike.

Stop to take a few photos for work. I do social media for my company, so I’m constantly taking pretty NYC photos to post on Facebook and Instagram.

5:40 AM — WTFlies???

5:53 AM — Need a bathroom. The tennis court ones are not open. WTF?

See the most amazing sunrise. The sun looks like a big, orange cookie. So delicious. Try to take photos. They don’t turn out as beautiful as real life.

6:08 AM — Bathroom stop. Annoying, but very necessary. Shakespeare in the Park, your bathrooms never let me down. Except that one time. People are already lined up for free Shakespeare in the Park tickets. Crazies.

6:11 AM — Time to head east. November Project time!

6:19 AM — Another bathroom stop, WTFFFFFF. So annoying. But thanks for being open, Panera. Realize I’m going to be late to November Project. The only thing for which I am never on time, I swear. I struggle.

NP workout is solid. We do a “figure eight” running loop, broken up by dips and lunges. I mostly stick with dips because I like them better and I’m lazy. This friend I’ve made at NP, Matt Powers, is a huge help during today’s workout. I’m a little tired, but he pushes me and motivates me, telling me to “push it on the straights,” and then looking back to check on me. He is such a wonderful force in my life right now, and I try to be more like him every day. Really. He’s like a giant burst of positivity and smiles.

7:28 AM — That’s a wrap on NP, and I have 8.2 miles in the bank for the day. Sweet.

Walk to 86th Street with NP friends. Do a quick check-in with Coach. Realize it’s getting late, so I run the rest of the way home.

Stop at CVS for chocolate milk supplies (I’m on a kick) and at the amazing Corner Bakery Cafe to buy a fancy scone for my coworker. “Can’t you taste these scones?” He ran 95 miles this past weekend. So he gets a scone. And so do I. Daily mileage rounds out to 8.5 miles.

7:50 AM — Finally back home. Time to make moves.

Walk in door. Immediately blast the AC. When Brian is away (he’s traveling for work all week), I never close the bathroom door, and it’s such a treat. The “I just came back from my run” routine is AC on, “Today” show on, shoes off, charge phone, scroll through Instagram, get a quick post up for work, make chocolate milk, sit naked on the couch with chocolate milk snack.

8:02 AM — Get in shower. Soundtrack is “phone on Shuffle.” A little Sarah McLachlan, a little Kate Havnevik (shout out to my obsessive “must download every Grey’s Anatomy song” days), a little Tiesto.

8:12 AM — Done showering. I have many types of showers: long shower, medium shower, short shower, quick rinse, sad shower, dance party shower. Today is medium shower. Shave legs (every day, no exceptions), but don’t wash hair (get it wet, rinse it out, but no shampoo or conditioner). Do you pee in the shower? It’s fine if you do. No judgments.

8:30 AM — Out the door with un-blow-dried hair, looking a bit sloppy for my liking.

8:33 AM — Finally make it out of the building. Damn elevator traffic. The perils of living on a high floor. Life is so hardddddd.

Today is an atypical day, work wise. Instead of scooting right to the office, I’m hitting up Central Park (again!) to take some photos for a work event later in the evening. I am not complaining.

8:54 AM — Still walking to get to photo location. Really sweaty. Bag is heavy. Hair definitely looks amazing. Skin is what we will call “dewy” and not “covered in sweat slime.”

8:58 AM — Walk past Shakespeare in the Park line. People are still waiting. And sleeping.

9:08 AM — Arrive at photo location. Maybe. I am suddenly confused. Take lots of photos anyway.

9:24 AM — Walk to second location. See a big film set being coordinated. Hear a familiar voice. See Jason Bateman!

9:28 AM — Take photo with Jason Bateman. Just another day.

9:32 AM — Got all the photos I need, plus a bonus shot.

9:34 AM — Decide today was a good day to keep an iPhone play-by-play.

9:36 AM — See a dirty diaper on the ground on the main drive in Central Park. What is wrong with people?

9:41 AM — British lady asks me for directions to the Apple Store. Love that I can give them to her.

Get on subway. Legs feel so sleepy. Marathon training!

9:54 AM — River of sweat aggressively flows down my lower back. Woman gets on subway wearing a cute maxi dress. Her hair is dried and curled, and she is drinking hot coffee. Nothing makes sense anymore. Effortless mystery bitch.

9:59 AM — Drop my phone as I get off the subway. I am effortlessly cool, too.

Commute westward from Union Square to office. The walk takes 5–7 minutes depending on my level of laziness. Everyone I pass is on their phones every morning. Today, that includes me. I am taking these notes.

10:00 AM — Catch my soggy reflection in the Taco Bell window as I pass. It terrifies me. I’m so beautiful. Keep moving.

10:04 AM — Arrive at work. Oh sweet air conditioning.

Dive right into all the work waiting for me.

11:07 AM — Weekly store manager’s meeting starts. This is the weekly meeting where the managers from the four different locations come together, plus some other people, and we talk about new items and sales and goals and marketing.

There are seven dudes and two ladies at this meeting today. Very different from my last job which was all chicks, all the time. Also at my last job we had basically no meetings, and now I have lots of meetings.

12:40 PM — Meeting ends.

1:20 PM — Need lunch.

Get a sad salad from Chop’t. I never get salads, but today I want to be “healthy.” The topping selection is disappointing and the “bread” is a slice of limp pita. Luckily, coworker gets a brownie cookie from Potbelly, so when he isn’t looking, I eat most of it.

3:44 PM — Realize I have slacked on my daily diary here. It’s because I am very busy working.

4:12 PM — Stand up to get something. Remember I have severe underboob chafing. Whimper. Coworker asks what’s wrong. I say I can’t tell him. He says he lost a nipple running 95 miles this weekend. I ask him to show me. He says no. I do not offer to show him my wounds in return. I am glad we don’t have an HR department here. I don’t think I comply sometimes.

4:31 PM — Leave office to head to event in Central Park (for the third time of the day — a record for me, I assume!). Always pee before I leave, because it’s a long way home.

4:38 PM — Uptown 6 train pulls up as I’m entering the station and it’s empty and I get a seat! I still have underboob issues plaguing me, but at least I’m sitting.

I’m usually pretty glued to my phone during the commute, but I don’t want to drain my battery since I’ll need it all night and won’t have charging access. So I’m listening to music on airplane mode and am staring at people.

OH GOD I AM SO HOT THIS CAR FELT COOL WHEN I GOT ON AND NOW IT FEELS STEAMY AM I IN THE HOT CAR??? Nothing is worse than getting in the hot car in the summer. Also the smelly car. (If a train car is empty during a busy time, you didn’t “score.” Something’s up. You’ll realize it soon enough.)

4:48 PM — This has to be the hot car.

4:56 PM — Get off subway. Resist the Mr. Softee that is parked at my subway stop every single day. Immediately check email on phone. Think about how I need an unplugged vacation.

5:18 PM — Drop stuff at apartment real quick. Check email, do a few quick work things, accidentally eat an entire carton of jicama.

“Friends” is on in the background. “James, James Brolin, are you sure?” Name that episode. I know you can.

5:32 PM — Back out the door for the Jack Cash Dash! It’s an event I helped coordinate and execute. We hid gift cards around Central Park and then posted clues about where to find them on social media. I was handling the social media aspect, and hiding some of the cards. I also had to run between locations, so add another half mile onto today’s total. It’s exhausting, but so fun.

7:10 PM — Tyler calls for some FaceTime fun, but I can’t talk. He asks, “Where’d Turkey go?” and it breaks my little heart. He thinks Brian’s name is Turkey.

7:24 PM — That’s a wrap on the #jackcashdash. Have a debrief call with coworker. We are super happy with how everything went.

7:36 PM — Quick FaceTime with Tyler! All he wants to know is “Where’s Turkey?” and I honestly don’t know, because he’s in Texas for work, so then Tyler jibberishes to me for a while and soon I have to hang up.

7:45 PM — Meet up with different coworker just outside the park. Walk for a while. Sit for a while. Chat for a while. See goats.

8:18 PM — Finally heading home. In a cab, on account of my laziness and exhaustion and lack of attention to credit card statements.

8:50 PM — Crappy dinner of chips and salsa and some buttered pasta. #nutrition I eat no vegetables and wish I had more jicama.

9:00 PM — Start working on some freelance stuff. Think about how I have taken on perhaps a bit too much and I am overwhelmed.

10:10 PM — Talk to Brian on the phone. Pick a fight with him for no reason other than the fact that I am stressed and that is obviously his fault. I am the best girlfriend.

10:17 PM — Best friend texts me. She is locked inside her apartment. Don’t know what that means, but am on my way to help. Luckily she lives close by. And I love her.

BFF throws her keys into the street from her fourth floor apartment. I am supposed to catch them? I fail. I run into the street to retrieve them. Also, it is raining.

Successfully get into BFF’s apartment. I am a superhero. My word, not hers, but it’s implied.

Haven’t seen BFF in practically a month, which is stupid. End up staying for almost an hour catching up, but still only scratch the surface of pertinent things we must discuss.

11:20 PM — Head back home.

Do a bit more work. Can’t function. Am starting to stress to the point of picturing myself back in the hospital with my Crohn’s problems. Think about all the stuff I didn’t get to today. Some work. Some extra work. Some personal.

11:37 PM — Say “screw it,” brush teeth, get into bed and pass out immediately.

So that’s a day for me. Typical in that it’s pretty go-go-go but is mostly fun-ish stuff. Atypical in the number of trips to Central Park and the extra late bedtime. Most weekdays I wake up at 4:30, but I try to be in bed by 10:30 PM.

Also, unrelated, but marathon training is going well and I’m not fast, but I want to be. And at the end of my run today, I fell on the sidewalk — my first running fall! — and I’m pretty nicely road rashed. Good times.

Do you have any questions? Sorry if this was so boring. You’re welcome if it was wicked entertaining.

Love youuuuu.