Moving on to far, far more trivial things, i.e. my life.
There’s so much going on right now, and sometimes you think you’re not stressed about it but your body tells you that you are wrong. My body is telling me this in the form of a hideous fever that won’t quit and night sweats that crept all the way through the mattress onto the floor. No, really.
Because my brain is foggy and I’m nauseated (someone once informed me that it’s “nauseated” and not “nauseous” and that important life lesson that I didn’t bother to double-check has stuck with me for life), and because I feel as though I may barf on my laptop screen at any given moment, this is a post of random, cloudy thoughts. Do enjoy!
And yeah, I was all “I’m quitting blogging,” and now that I have no time to write, it’s like, “Wah, I miss blogging.” I am Goldilocks without the porridge and the bears and the Big Bad Wolf.
Except the Big Bad Wolf messed around with Little Red Riding Hood, actually.
OK, that’s how this is going to go today. Yikes. Let’s go with a list. That’s always better, because adding numbers to things brings clarity.
1. Remember when I resisted joining Instagram for so long? Now it’s my favorite social medium. (Follow along! @AliOnTheRun1) For the most part I find it to be prettier and more intriguing than Twitter, and less complainy and braggy than Facebook. There are still too many hashtags everywhere, though. Aren’t those over yet?
2. I hated The Fault in our Stars. Haaaated. I cannot for the life of me figure out why people found that book so compelling, what about it made people cry and why it’s being made into a forced tearjerker of a movie. It’s so not My Sister’s Keeper, which I loved and will sometimes watch when it’s on TV to torture myself. But OK, a visit to my past: When I was younger, I was obsessed with these Lurlene McDaniel novels which were all about young people with cancer or some other terminal illness, and they pretty much always died at the end of the book. Why do those books exist for young adults and why did I love them so much? I don’t know. I’ve always been a masochist, I guess. One of the books was, I kid you not, called Baby Alicia is Dying. The word “die” or “death” is in the majority of the book titles. Let me tell you, TFIOS does not even hold a candle to those classics. I think. I read them when I was like 14, so my literary preferences may have changed since then, but I doubt it.
3. Literary preferences = The Baby-sitters Club, always and forever.
Stacey was my favorite. She was so chic and NYC and she made diabetes seem so cool, right? I also really liked Dawn, because I’ve always been into blondes, but I had a sneaking suspicion that both she and her ditzy-ass “Oops, I left my pocketbook in the refrigerator again!” mom were on drugs, and I wasn’t down with that. Which BSC-er was your favorite? If you say Mallory, it’s game over for you.
3.a) I wrote a fan letter to Ann M. Martin once. She “wrote back” and I was thrilled. I still have the letter. I don’t think she really wrote it.
3.b) Ann M. Martin definitely didn’t write that letter, and therefore she ruined my childhood. But since I’m just realizing this now, it’s OK, and I will come to terms with it by Thursday. Of next week.
3.c) Never have I ever…read Chapter 2 of a BSC book because oh my goddddddd why does Chapter 2 always have to be the same?
4. I’ve never been to Trader Joe’s. People lose their shit for Trader Joe’s. Bloggers write entire posts about the groceries that you can get just at Trader Joe’s. But people say the ones in NYC are really crowded, so it’s on my “do not enter” list.
5. I immediately discredit anything that is written in Comic Sans.
6. I wish I liked juice more. It’s fine, but it’s definitely not something I crave.
I pretty much only crave water. Sometimes milk. Sometimes chocolate milk. I see these girls being like “post-22-miler reward!” and it’s a picture of an F-ing smoothie. Then I’m over here in my pajamas like, “post-‘Parenthood’ marathon reward!” and it’s me with a plate of Eggs Benedict and a side of bacon and all of Brian’s hash browns and the French fries the guy at the table next to me left on his plate. I just don’t crave healthy food 92% of the time, and that’s unfortunate. (A childhood of loving Hamburger Helper and Velveeta Shells and Cheese is maybe the reason I have unrelenting Crohn’s.)
7. When I wake up in the morning, I can bend down and not just touch my toes, but put my hands flat on the ground. I love yoga. Look at how it’s changing my life! Thanks, B.
8. I don’t understand “The Cloud.” I realize maybe that makes me stupid or just not at all clued in, but last night I cried actual tears over not understanding what iTunes was telling me when it told me to just go to The Cloud to find my missing music. I am not a Care Bear (sadly). Speak English to me, world. Slow it down.
9. Exactly one year after booking my flight to Hawaii — that I never got to take — I finally used my credit and re-booked a flight for a random time this December. I’m hoping I can get healthy by then. I don’t think I can emotionally handle another failed attempt on this topic.
10. Yesterday, I was registered for a race. A running race. A relay running race. You’ll note the phrasing here: “I was registered,” which means I did not register myself. Brian signed us up for a duathlon relay. I’ll do the running portions (a 1.2-mile section and a 3.1-mile section) and he’ll handle the cycling (13.3 miles on “rolling terrain”).
The race is the first weekend in May. I’m hoping I can get moderately healthy by then and not have to make 18 bathroom stops. And if not by then, definitely by December.
11. This is not me:
Everyone sees this picture on Pinterest and sends it to me. It’s not me. I wish, though. She’s quite cute and mighty skinny.
12. If this happens to your phone…
…it’s done. Just suck it up and get yourself a new one.
13. I have a new neighbor. Her name is Riley.
So that’s life lately. Or a bit of it, at least. Check back later this week for another update, because I’m going to post twice in one week.
No, really. I am. See you then!
AND DON’T FORGET TO SHARE: Which hot lady is your favorite BSC member? Kristy, the bossy one? Claudia, the idiot who would wear belts as hats and call it “trendy” and who hid candy in her bedroom and was obsessed with her old grandma, Mimi? Perhaps you’re more of a Mary-Anne? Prude. Or, if you’re only 11 and like ballet, maybe you like Jessi best. Click the Wikipedia link above if you need references. It’s amazing and thorough.
And PLEASE, someone tell me that you, too, read the Lurlene McDaniel death novels. Come onnnnn, I can’t be the only one.