I’m typically optimistic on Monday mornings. New week! Fresh start! Time to do some ass kicking!
On Sunday night, though, I couldn’t sleep. I was stressed about work stuff and my brain was louder than the traffic out on Third Avenue.
I already forget how Monday went. I don’t remember it being particularly good.
Then, on Tuesday morning, I went for a run. I don’t even remember the run. I’m sure it was lovely. But I remember how it ended.
I was cruising home along a busy downhill street. To my left was the fruit stand guy, selling his apples and bananas. To my right, people were getting off the subway. And straight in front of me, on the ground: danger.
And then it happened: I got hit in the face by a pigeon.
That little shit up and flew right into me and fluttered his dirty wing on my cheek. It was disgusting and I screamed and my face is forever tainted in filth. I have yet to be formally tested for bird flu, but I obviously have it (no you’re dramatic).
Since then, the week hasn’t much improved, but we made it to Friday so that’s a victory, right?
Also: Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit.
Tyler.
So Happy Friday and Happy March and Happy Spring is Coming.
I don’t quite have it in me to write poetry today about how running is blissful and work is stressful and my stomach is still sloppy, so instead, I will just tell you every single thought that has crossed my mind throughout the course of this tumultuous week.
I could not care less about Fashion Week. Fashion in general is so un-interesting to me. I just can’t bring myself to care about the fashion tents at Lincoln Center. I don’t care who’s there, I don’t care where people are seated and I definitely don’t need to know what’s happening on the runway because WTF is that stuff? Are those “looks” things people actually wear? I don’t get it.
That being said, I would love a personal stylist. Just someone to take me shopping one time, pick out all the stuff that would look good on me and essentially get me to wear something other than jeans and a Lululemon sweatshirt to work every day. Apply within. I pay in Entenmann’s snacks.
The days are getting longer! It’s light out when I finish running in the morning and the sun blasts into my eyeballs every day at 4:25 PM, which is a painful and distracting yet beautiful thing.
I have never been so busy that I have forgotten to eat. Those people who are like, “OMG, was so busy today, totally forgot to have lunch!” Yeah, I don’t relate to those people. In my entire life, I have never missed a meal.
You know that huge rush you get after you finish a really amazing long run? You’re all energized and proud of yourself and you’re just like, “Yup, I’ve just nailed this day. Boom.” That’s how I feel after my laundry is done, folded and put away.
I have done a significant amount of research on the topic of “opening a Dairy Queen franchise in NYC.” I’m sorry to report that us Manhattanites won’t be getting delicious Blizzards anytime soon. I’m really sorry. I swear I’ve tried.
One of my nightmares is getting hit in the face by a pigeon. That has already happened. So another one of my nightmares I’ll tell you about is having to do partner work in group fitness classes. If I’m there with a friend, great. But I’m probably not. Having to “pair up” is awkward and it makes me feel like I’m back in elementary school. I loved elementary school, but I always hated the partner stuff. No group projects for Feller, please. Let me do it myself. That applies to making posters and also ab work.
This is also a nightmare:
‘Tis the season. Thank God.
One of life’s littlest joys is licking the top of the pudding cup. I got to do that a few times this week and I loved it. Licking the top of a yogurt cup doesn’t bring me the same excitement.
Sometimes I think about the Old Man of the Mountain and I get very sad. If you’re from the great state of New Hampshire, I know you feel me. RIP, buddy. You lived free, and then you died. Sorry you face-planted into the mountain.
You may know that I am a collector of fine art. Yesterday I received a piece to add to my collection, which I’m so excited about.
You know that song that’s like, “Peggy! Peggy Sueeeee! Put your loving arms now babyyyyy?” No? Yeah, that’s because there is no such song, despite what I’ve been singing (yelling) for years now. The song is called “Beggin” and the lyrics are, “Beggin…beggin you…” Not “Peggy Sue.” I learned this tough lesson when I saw Jersey Boys.
Brian has finally returned home after his 8-day tour of the major U.S. cities. I forgot what it was like to live with someone and yesterday, when he asked if he could have one of my deliciously homemade granola bars, I actually said no. And got kind of pissed about it. I’d say my Girlfriend of the Year title has been revoked but let’s be honest, I was never even a front-runner in that competition.
Also, while I was here, Crohnsing in the cold and baking delicious things, Brian was off being productive and seeing cool stuff and making big moves. Allow me to share the fruit of his labor:
Data-Free February was awesome. I never wore my watch when I ran and I loved it. Distance? Time? Pace? Turns out, you can still really enjoy running without knowing all those numbers.
Speaking of “really enjoying running”…I really enjoy running. (And to think, I said I wasn’t able to write poetry today. Look at that beauty of a sentence!) I got to write about loving running and identifying as a runner for Women’s Running magazine. Check it out.
It’s funny looking back now and remembering having such a hard time “calling myself a runner.” Now I don’t think twice about making sure every single person I meet on public transportation knows I’m a Brooks-wearer who enjoys spending time on the Bridle Path in Central Park.
I love finding mistakes in other magazines or newspapers. Like this little gem I spotted in last weekend’s New York Times:
Now it’s time to wrap up this week. I’m off to Photo Shoot #2 (out of three).
Be safe out there. Watch out for flying ass birds.
TELL ME WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON. Or share what’s been on your mind this week. We really haven’t caught up in a while. I love you.
46 Responses
Not true about DQ. I’m also obsessed and go over to Jersey City for my fix.
http://newyork.grubstreet.com/2012/06/dairy-queen-new-york-city-locations-opening.html
Not sure if this is still happening? I think Sandy screwed up the plans for one at St. George terminal?
I love that you say Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit on the first of the month!! I’ve been doing that since second grade when my teacher told me to!! I also don’t get people who forget to eat, makes no sense to me!
So, is it Instragamed or Instagrammed? How do we find out?
omg, that pigeon story is ridiculous! I completely understand your feeling like your face will never again be clean; I stepped on a slug once with bare feet and thought for sure I’d have to cut my foot off. good news, my foot is currently doing fine. also, Brian’a video is amazing – very cool!
ugh, Brian’s*… silly, fat thumbs on my itty-bitty screen…
I know EXACTLY how you feel about laundry – which always seems to pile up to marathon proportions before I work on folding it. I even need to hydrate during it!
It’s good to know I’m not the only one who flashes back to middle school when having to find a partner in a a workout class! When I first started taking Krav Maga (you have to have a partner every time) I would get butterflies before every single class. Not because I was afraid of getting injured or accidentally punched in the face or accidentally hurting someone else… I was afraid terrified of the moment when they tell you to pair up. There actually were a couple of times when I was the odd one out and had to partner with an instructor (although who could find a better partner than an instructor? They know their stuff!). Eventually I got to know the regulars and don’t even think about it anymore, but it’s still funny to me that at 28 I was still so nervous about pairing up. I’m glad to know it’s not just me!!!
I never miss my meals too! How could you?!?!?! Stomach is grumbling and you’re not going to eat?!?! Anyway, have a wonderful weekend! I started mine this morning with a 17.2km run with a buddy.
My office is on 34th and 9th and I walk by that building everyday and smile. Once I had a seagull land on my lap at the beach and I freaked out. Another great post!!
Oh my god, the pigeon, I would forever be traumatized. Stay strong and you’ll get through it.
Getting hit in the face with a pigeon could be life changing. Don’t they have radar like bats or something. Walking in Thailand and having a snake drop on you out of a tree would be worse though.
I can sympathize with the pigeon attack…I was at a park with friends once and all of a sudden a pigeon started hovering around my head and circling and then flew into my head…I screamed and bolted and it followed me until I jumped in the car. Grrrr pigeons!
EWWWW the bird, OMG I am terrified of birds, you would have had to pick me up off the sidewalk as I would have fainted.
I went to Plymouth State and saw the Old Man in the Mountain many times, I too was sad it fell off.
Never once forgot to eat 🙂
The pigeon thing is disgusting, they had horrible birds!!!
The highlight of my week has been finding a preschool for my little boy. He starts on Tuesday which means I have TWO MORNINGS A WEEK TO MYSELF!! Big Run Tuesday starts next week!!!!
1) The video made me smile – just like it said it would.
2) I liked your pun (fruit of his labor) whether you intended it that way or not.
3) I also really enjoy running. We begin the summer season for Team Challenge (I’m a mentor!) tomorrow and I could not be more excited.
4) I like to find a good typo, too. Preferably not in something I’ve written.
Have a great weekend!
I loved that you also believe in the tradition of saying Rabbit three times on the first day of the month. My hipster friend from high school taught me that and I have been doing it ever since…. glad to know that she didn’t just make that up to make me look like an idiot.
I also don’t understand how people can forget to eat, we had this conversation last night at work and there is no way that I ever ever ever forget a meal.
I almost had a pelican land on my head during a run last summer.
Not only do I not identify with people who “forget to eat,” I kind of hate those people. I don’t understand!!!
Awesome article! As for the whole pigeon in the face thing- that IS scary and a part of the reason why I don’t like birds-especially pigeons-gross!
So once I had to partner up in a super-awkward ballet body class at Crunch. Two days later, husband and I are having a fancy dinner for our anniversary, and the woman at the table next to us looks vaguely familiar, and YEP IT’S THE PARTNER LADY FROM CLASS. At least we both were able to say, “Uh, so, this is weird, right?” and laugh about it.
I am terrified of pigeons. Like terrified. They are flying rats except rats are better because rats are actually scared of humans
I always get overambitious with my puddings – I’ll lick the lid (of course!), and before I can stop myself I’ve tried to lick the plastic container. It ALWAYS ends up on my chin.
Getting hit in the face by pigeons was a huge fear of mine when I lived there! Those buggers certainly tried their hardest but fortunately never succeeded. Sucks for you!
I have no idea how people forget to eat either…it’s just beyond my comprehension. I’ve pushed back a meal because I’ve had a meeting or something but I am painfully aware I haven’t eatern
Also definitely have never missed a meal. I may plan my experiments such that I always have time to eat lunch.
I haven’t been hit in the face by a pigeon, but I have had a bird decide my hair would make a great nest. It tried to pull my bun out and take some hair. Thankfully two guys were running behind me so I had witnesses of how weird it was.
I get so excited when Brian doesn’t like something I bake/cook. Don’t bother with the “you must be a terrible baker/cook” because MOAR FOR MEEEEEEE!! Never share those granola bars, Ali.
You are hilarious! This made my day.
The train stop I take when I work out after work is always flooded with idiot pigeons and Wednesday night I was nearly attacked by a flock of 3 (felt like 500) dirty birds. I thought of you. <3 Oh and once a bird pooped on my face while I was walking to get manicure. It was the most horrific thing ever..
I’ve never gotten hit by a pigeon, but one did steal a bite of my burger once! If you go to Shake Shack and sit outdoors, beware of the cunning birds. They will swoop on your food as you’re eating it… and since you just stood in line for an hour for the burger, you’ll continue eating it, too. (after tearing away the offending area where the bird put its mouth) Bird flu be damned.
Instragamed! Hahaha nice catch and you’re right! Unless that’s some weird inexplicable NYT or AP Style thing, which wouldn’t surprise me…
Pigeons are the worst – hopefully getting hit in the face with one is extra good luck. Like getting pooped on, but better.
I was across from the Old Man on Lafayette the day he fell. I had no idea it happened until I was driving home…you’d think it would have made more noise, no?
Anyway, so sad. I also miss seeing his face whenever I go up north!
A couple of years ago it was a hot summer day, we were driving with the windows down and singing when it happened. Some stupid ass bird, flew right into my damn car, hit the door jam, and DIED, landing between my back and the seat. I screamed and tried to keep calm until i could pull over and get that little bastard off my seat and out of my car. It was horrible, so I totally feel your pain about that dirty bird hitting your face!
Ack, I was once hit by a dirty pigeon too!! Just on the arm, but I too screamed in horror and cannot standing being near birds anymore. It was like I lived in this safe bubble, pre-bird encounter, where birds would maybe fly by closely but I always thought they had some special 6th animal sense that prevented them from getting too close. That bubble burst as soon as that disgusting wing touched my bare arm skin, and it will never be a safe world from birds ever again.
I was probably 12 years old when I figured out that the name of that show was “Saved by the Bell”. Yeah, I called it “Say by the Bell”. At least Peggy Sue makes sense?
Also, did you know that it’s not “Open Sesame”, it’s “Open Says Me”. WTF?
I’m afraid of what else I’ve been saying wrong…
I LOVE DAIRY QUEEN.
And when I lived in Upstate NY, and the nearest one was 60+ miles away, I, too, researched opening a franchise. No dice. I survived, but it was sad.
Georgia Mud Fudge = my faaaaavorite.
I have never forgotten to eat lunch in my life. Blows my mind. Who ARE those people?
Also, Brian’s commercial is awesome!!
New to the blog and I am enjoying it! I’ve been run down by a pigeon, have digestive issues which can dictate which running route I take, I’m a NH girl with an understanding of how much the Old Man defined the state (or maybe Live Free or Die does?), Beggin was the song my husband and I were introduced to at our wedding… I’m also thinking about trying a full marathon in the near future and maybe a blog. More importantly I LOVE PUPPIES! Thank you for your posts:)
I hate pairing up with other people in classes! Had to do that last week in my core strength class and it was so awkward. And at school it’s even worse because I just hate group work. I’d prefer to do all the work myself and take all the credit. 🙂
Yes! Bring back (at least some of) the work outfits. Those of us with particularly bad fashion sense (hello sports bra and running shirt every chance I get) need to be inspired. But I understand the pressure associated with it to dress nice not only for work but also readers.
HAHA don’t get mad, but I literally LOL’ed when I read that you got hit in the face with a pigeon. that is SO SAD!
Ditto man, I couldn’t miss a meal if I tried. I’m pretty sure that I’m eating/snacking more often than I’m not….
cheers!
You should bring back the worK outfit postings! You always look so cute!
In Canada, they sell Mini Eggs YEAR ROUND! It’s great, but then when Easter comes and they go heavy on the Easter chocolate marketing, we’re all like, “Meh. I could eat those in July.” No, that’s a lie. We don’t take those for granted. At least I don’t.
I also love finding spelling and grammar mistakes in other people’s work. Not in any of the materials my company puts out. That hurts my heart.
I can’t believe you got his by a pigeon!I swear they always come close but they NEVER actually hit me!
I just got back from vacation so the sun has been on my mind all week!
You definitely dress nicer at work than I do – I remember your daily outfit postings! You look cute and put together. I try and get away with looking as sloppy as humanly possible. I’m really sorry about the pigeon. That is disgusting.
So I found this new yoga place about 15 minutes away from my house and I. Am. Obsessed. I tried out their $5 community class last Thursday and this week, I’ve already gone on Wednesday and Thursday and I plan on going tonight. It’s Vinyasa, so it’s a warm but not sweltering 80-85 degrees and I always feel amazing afterwards. And the sweating is always a plus. Is that gross? Kinda, but I don’t care. I love it.
Oh and GO Baby TYLER!
xo Marie
Chocolate & Wine
I was very sad to hear about the Old Man of the Mountain as well. My husband doesn’t get it (he is from VA). He makes fun of his face falling off.
The Kidless Kronicles