Thankful Things Thursday: The Worst Is Probably Over

Since coming back to work on Tuesday, I’ve taken a bit of an ass-kicking.

I know: two whole days at the office, OMG!

But because I felt slightly better on Tuesday than I did a week — or even three days — before, I figured I could go back to my “normal” routine and I’d be OK.

Silly Ali, never learning.

My stomach seems to be reacting well to the combination of Remicade and other medications, and my joint pain has decreased significantly. But I’m definitely not out of this flare-up yet, and I find myself getting fatigued far more easily than I had anticipated. It’s been a crazy-busy week at the office so far, and by 6 PM each day I’ve wanted to crawl into bed for a 24-hour nap. I haven’t been successful in reaching my naptime desires, however, because on top of in-office things, this week has, naturally, been one of those “you also need to do after-hours stuff, too” weeks.

Tuesday night it was live-blogging “All the Right Moves” which, yes, is a legitimate part of my job. And it doesn’t start until 10 PM. That is late.

Last night, I went to a gala honoring Mikhail Baryshnikov (dancers, you know who he is — non-dancers, he was Aleksandr Petrovsky on “Sex and the City”) and didn’t get home until almost midnight.

This picture is slightly terrifying, but I thought I would show it to you anyway. Stupid iPhone flash. No, that is not Mikhail Baryshnikov in the middle. Sorry. We didn't take a photo together. He was too busy being honored or whatever.

Life is rough, man.

So it’s been a busy, hectic week and I’m trying hard not to let it overwhelm me and stress me out. Because according to the experts, stress will get my intestines all worked up.

In an effort to stay calm and happy, how about a little gratitude on this fine Thursday? Thankful Things Thursday, go time!

I’m thankful the worst is behind me, if only for now. Being in the hospital was miserable. Awful, tragic, terrible. I hated every minute I was in that hellhole.

Don't be fooled by the drunk look on my face. I was still doped up from the colonoscopy. As soon as I came down from my high, I was sad again.

While I was in the hospital, I tried to think about it like a race. You know, because I’m so good at those [sarcasm…so much sarcasm]. I knew the tests would suck. I knew certain things would be painful (never get an enema, people — avoid at all costs, and definitely don’t get three of them in a row). But I knew that, in order to eventually get better and figure things out, I had to tough it out. I had to suck it up, drink the gross juices and power through (you know, like how you power through a race and stuff — it’s a good metaphor).

And I did.

I was a big wimp through a lot of it and you bet I called my mom in hysterics at 5:55 AM last Thursday morning when I was served my colonoscopy breakfast and didn’t think I could drink it. It was worth the little struggles, though, and I knew it would be.

So I’m thankful that I’m out of the hospital. I’m thankful for my bed at home and I’m thankful to be off the liquid diet, which I’m fairly certain was making me sicker.

Really, hospital? This is supposed to make me better? I call bullshit.

Most of all, I’m thankful to have good doctors looking out for me and taking care of me, since I had clearly run out of ways to take care of myself. I’m confident that the worst is over. Yes, there will be more flare-ups. With a chronic disease that’s likely inevitable. I can try my best to ward them off, I can take my medicine and I can better monitor my diet. I can do my best, sure. And if I get sick again, that will be hugely un-fun and Brian just may run and hide from me.

BRIAN, DON'T BE SCARED OF THE STOMACH DISEASE! It's a new trend, I swear. Everyone's doing it.

For now, though, I think I’m getting better, and I’m so, so glad.

I’m thankful for all the people who made this past week just a little bit easier for me. Lauren and Brian were my hospital rock stars. I will never forget coming back from my MRI and seeing the two of them waiting for me in my room. They were there at 7 AM every day and they were there at 11 PM. They rarely left my side, even when I was doing the whole colonoscopy prep thing. That’s unconditional love right there. I’m going to get them some presents.

This is Lauren. She is a fantastic friend. She is currently available for hire. She'll do nice things for you, like tell you when your left boob is falling out of your dress on the dance floor.

Then, on Tuesday, Kristan and Nicole surprised me at my apartment in the best way possible: wearing booty shorts and sports bras (Mom, relax, I still love Brian, I just appreciate having hot friends with six-pack abs — nothing wrong with that) and with brightly-colored flowers in hand.

Look at the orange one! So bright and vivid!

It has meant so much to me to have a ton of love and support coming my way throughout this whole silly ordeal. You people are the best. High five!

I’m thankful for fruit salad and melon ballers.

OH GOD SO DELICIOUS. And so round.

Nothing more to say about that.

I’m thankful I get to see my family in a week. My cousin is getting married and the whole extended Feller family will be in one place together. Scary, I know. But a big family reunion means quality time with my best friend!!!

SO EXCITED. Ryan, you do not look so thrilled in the background.

I’m thankful to have taken the subway to work every morning this week. For a month, I took a cab to work every day. I am now flat-broke because of it, but taking cabs was worth it because I was so afraid of getting stuck underground without a bathroom escape. This week, I’ve left my apartment, walked to the downtown train, hopped on and then continued walking across town to my office. I haven’t even thought about it. That, my friends, is a wonderful thing. It’s a sign of improvement.

I’m thankful to be feeling better. That’s really it. That sums up this whole post and my whole mindset today. I’m hoping that a week from now I’ll actually be able to say I feel completely better, but for now I’ll take the little improvements and I will appreciate them. Every time I walk past a bathroom that I don’t need to use, I am happy. It’s amazing how things can change in a week. (Yes, I realize that also means they can go from great to awful again without much notice, but let’s ignore that, yay!)

Whether I get four good days or four great months, I plan to take advantage of every single one. I’m trying hard to keep things in perspective. I’m resting, I’m giving my body a break. And as much I want to “come back” full force, I know to be just a little smarter than that and to ease into things. My snooze button is getting plenty of action these days — and I think that might be a good thing for now.

That’s all I’ve got for today.

SO NOW IT’S YOUR TURN: What are you thankful for today? The answer is puppies. But you can list other stuff, too. Let’s catch up, it’s been a while!



30 Responses

  1. So glad that you’re feeling better. I am thankful that I am going to the last night of the Paralympic Athletics tomorrow night and I am seeing Lady Gaga on Sunday night. I am also thankful that my migraine attack (3 days in a row) is over…for now.

  2. Chin up little one. You’re handling this all just as you should and I’m glad you’re feeling better and have such great friends. Sending love from CA.

  3. Quiet time during lunch even though I ate at my desk – it was just me, lunch, flipping thru news on the Net and of course, G-chatting with a friend.

  4. Definitely thankful for PUPPIES!!! My little French Bulldog puppy (okay; he’s not so little anymore) snuggled up next to me this morning. He’s so darned cute! I’m thankful for so many other things.
    1. Antibiotics… sinus infections SUCK!
    2. My handsome, amazing husband who is my rock.
    3. Healthy kids who are sweet and funny and still love their momma even though they’re at an age where it isn’t cool to say “I love you!”
    4. My parents are still healthy and happy
    5. My siblings – my sister comes to see me almost every day. She’s the best!
    6. My job – teaching is hard but I love every second of it. We get to talk about really cool topics like body image and the media. The kids have great insight.
    I could go on and on… that’s good for now.

    Glad you’re starting to feel better!

  5. Obviously an important question…

    Is the necklace you are wearing in the first picture an elephant necklace from J. Crew?

  6. Posts like this are why you are considered an inspirational blogger! I’m thankful that my sister’s wedding went well- she’s awesome and totally deserves the best.

  7. Glad you are feeling well-ish again! Yay! I’m thankful that we are getting pizza (paid for by managers – woot) for lunch today. I will consider it legitimate “fuel” for the tonight’s run (that I will prob walk bc I seem to have lost my running mo-jo in the last 4 weeks).

  8. I’m thankful for two quality nights of sleep in a row (a definite record over the past 2-3 weeks) and the lovely scientists that helped make it possible. I’m thankful that my parents haven’t hung up on me when I’m going nutso. I’m thankful that a new year/clean slate starts in 10 days.

    Glad you’re on the mend!

  9. Yes, I am thankful for puppies. Never can not be thankful for puppies. Today I’m thankful for my NYC visit that starts tomorrow! NYC weekend with Mom – yay! Going to see Once, should be fun. I’m thankful that even though summer is “officially over” it’s still nice out. I’m thankful that even though I expect to have a moderately stressful day at work today I am still cheerful.

  10. I’m happy you’re feeling better! I can’t believe the sh*t you’ve had to deal with lately. Seriously. 🙁
    Also, I love Lauren so much. What a sweet lady. You 2 warm my heart. xoxoxo
    (and Tyler is fricking adorable!)

  11. Glad you are feeling good!! Well, better! This week I am thankful for;
    A fantastic tennis date night with the Husband last night, we laughed so much. Thankful for Game of Thrones!! Thankful for a fantastic hike at the weekend in the redwoods!

  12. I am so glad you are feeling better! I am thankful that this week is going quickly, anniversary weekend ahead that I can’t wait to get started 🙂

  13. Ali- im thankful ur feeling better, but LOVE the pic of you all doped up, I mean- who doesn’t love a good stoner pic? <3

    Also- totally thankful for flip flops. I freakin LOOVE wearing them. And clean sheets. Loove me some clean sheets.

  14. How fabulous that you are feeling better! I am always thankful for my puppies (okay, they are 12 & 4 but forever young in my heart ; ) Their paws smell like Fritos (I know, crazy!) and it makes me laugh every morning!

  15. I am glad you are feeling a little better. I am so sorry you are going through this.

    I’m thankful for my terrible run this morning. At least I got it done.

  16. i’m really glad that you’re feeling better, and that your week is going (pretty) well!!

    this week i’m thankful for pumpkin. pumpkin anything – oatmeal, pie, muffins… and most importantly, pumpkin spice lattes!!

  17. Well, not to be toooo sappy but today is my 9 year anniversary, so I’m thankful for 9 years of (mostly) wedded bliss. And of the non-bliss times (because lets be honest…no marriage is totally puppies & rainbows) have been so minor. My husband is still my rock. Last night I had a migraine and he dropped everything to take care of me & the kids. So I’m most thankful for my practically perfect in every way husband!

    I’m thankful for migraine medicine.

    I’m thankful my kids are in school now. The house stays so much cleaner!

    And I’m thankful that you are feeling better! I’m hopeful anyways and will keep you in my thoughts!

  18. So happy you are starting to feel better, and you look gorgeous in the picture from the gala in the blue dress! I think you know what I am thankful for… being engaged!!!!! I am also thankful for Cape Cod, no night live, Criminal Minds and weekends.

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about ali

I’m the creator of the Ali on the Run blog and the host of the Ali on the Run Show podcast. I’m also a freelance writer and editor, a race announcer, a runner and marathoner, a mom, and a huge fan of Peanut M&Ms, Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again (way better than the first one!), and reliving my glory days as a competition dancer in the early 2000s. I’m really happy you’re here.
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