Resolution Check-In Time

I know what you’ve been thinking lately:

“It’s about halfway through the year — I wonder how that Ali On The Run girl who always talks about Crohn’s and legwarmers is doing with her 2012 New Year’s Resolutions. It’s imperative to my own well-being that I know whether she’s crossed ‘take a knife skills class’ off her list yet!”

I know! I know that’s what you were thinking all week, in between planning your Fourth of July celebrations and figuring out whether or not you can get away with calling in “sick” to work on July 5th.

Well don’t worry. Here I am, to fill you in on my 2012 New Year’s Resolutions progress. Because it would just be rude of me to let you live in suspense.

So yeah.

You’re welcome.

And no, I haven’t taken that damn knife skills class yet. I think if, moving forward, I refer to it as a “Knife Skillz” class, I’ll be more inclined to sign up. The “z” adds a touch of badassery.

Many moons ago, on January 1, 2012, I sat down at my computer during a ride on the Hampton Jitney and had some thoughts. I thought, “Self, what would you like to accomplish this year? What goals do you want to set for yourself? How high into the sky do you plan to reach throughout the next 12 months?”

This little list was born from my brain. My resolutions — some of them, at least, and by that I mean “3:59:59 marathon” — are always in the back of my mind. I’ve achieved some so far. I’ve failed miserably at others. I realize I should have made “Eat the most Oreos ever” one of my resolutions, so I’d get an automatic A+, and I kind of wish I hadn’t made “Do a handstand” a personal goal. But you can’t change what exists on the Internet, because that stuff is permanent, so here’s my rundown of how 2012 has gone off so far:

1. Get a new doctor. Yeah, I totally did this… Haven’t you heard, I’m currently seeing Dr. Feller? She’s certified in Talking About Bathroom Stops While Running, and she has a Ph.D. in Bedazzling and Teen Magazine Writing. No? That doesn’t count? Dang it.

OK, so I haven’t done this yet. Blah blah blah. Stop getting angry with me, mom. I’ve researched, I swear. I’ve re-read the doctor recommendations — tons and tons of them — that nice people have sent me and I’ve saved them in a folder in my email appropriately titled “Doctors.” But I haven’t made the calls. I haven’t made the appointments. I haven’t scheduled sexy colonoscopy dates with eligible new doctor men. Or women.

I managed to ditch my last Crohn’s flare by de-stressing, changing my mindset and taking a little physical break.

Oh I'm so beautiful. But also relaxed. And healthy. Doctor Ali's orders.

I still get the Remicade IV infusion every 7–8 weeks, and that’s great. But no, I have not yet accomplished my dumb resolution of finding someone new to attempt to prescribe me drugs. I want to see a doctor who doesn’t think steroids are the answer to everything. Again, I have great recommendations, I just haven’t made the phone calls.

Though trust me, it’s really fun calling doctors from my office, which has no walls or doors. I really really like it when my coworkers can overhear me saying things like “blood in stool.”

Operation Get New Doctor: FAIL.

2. Do a handstand. I’m not sure why I ever said I wanted to do this, or why I think I’m capable of pulling it off, but I guess there’s no backing out now, huh? I came sort of close last week during a yoga class at Pure Yoga. It was my first-ever 90-minute class and it featured three different instructors. Something about Pure Yoga’s 4th anniversary. It was a fantastic class and I loved it. There were about 10 instructors in the room, walking around and giving adjustments, which meant I got lots of personal attention. You know how I feel about attention. I LOVE IT.

The people taking the class were legit yogis and yoginis and yogilates and yogi bears, and I, Unbendy Ali, am none of those things. While everyone in the class went into “inversions” during upside-down time, I hung out in child’s pose, my favorite. But then a kind instructor came over, and he helped me get my handstand on. I tightened my “core” and he held onto my legs and it was fun. But then he let go of my legs, and Handstand Ali came crashing down. Hard. Onto the girl next to her.

So close, but this one is a FAIL.

3. Take a trampoline class. Oh good! Another big fat FAIL. I really want to do this, I just haven’t had time. Maybe this summer. Who’s in?

4. Take better care of my skin. PASS! PASS! I’m doing this one! My mom got me that Clairisonic Mia scrubby electric thing that swishes all over my face, and I use it! And it’s so fun! And yay! I’m doing something on my list! Does my skin look any different? No. I still get breakouts like a teenager. But whatever. I’m giving it a better effort than I did in 2011. And 2010. And my entire life. Why is no one patting me on the back right now?

5. Run on a track. I’m so sad I haven’t done this one yet. I’m dying to do some speedwork on a bouncy track. I was supposed to run on the track when I crossed the finish line at the Eugene Marathon, if you recall, but that didn’t happen. Tragedy.

Now, since obsessively watching all the Olympic Trials coverage in Eugene, I’m extra sad I didn’t get to pull off that race, and I’m even more eager to get my slow booty onto an oval so I can fly around it and get faster. Or just jump up and down. Either option is fine. But still, FAIL.

6. Take a dance class. Um, nope. Another FAIL.

Did this Tabata class not count? I danced in it. Kind of. Photo by Steven Meyer.

Can we all just pause briefly right now to question what the heck I’ve been doing for the past six months if it hasn’t been checking things off my oh-so-important New Year’s Resolutions list?

7. Try out Yoga to the People. Um, I had plans to go. Then I canceled them. Something came up. FAIL.

8. Go for a totally naked run. Totally naked means “no Garmin, no music.” I run without music all the time now, but I still usually carry my phone with me (What if there’s an emergency, like I get injured mid-run, or something really exciting happens on “Dance Moms” and I need to see what the Twitter reaction is like?) and pretty much always wear my Garmin because I like tracking my distance. Totally naked does not mean running without a bra. Ew. Yet another FAIL.

9. Hold a 5-minute plank. Boom. Yeah that happened. A few times, actually.

This is so you know I didn't make it up. Timers never lie.

Pretty sure I couldn’t pull it off these days, what with my “weak glutes” and my sad, saggy core, but it happened, and it was kind of awesome. Finally, a PASS!

10. Run over the Queensboro Bridge. FAIL. Fail so hard.

11. Be a kickass aunt. OK, here we go. I’m not sure I’ve been “kickass,” but I’d like to think that based solely on the amount of Tyler photos I post here on this blog, it’s clear that I’ve got a ton of love for that tiny bundle of joy and burping.

If you ever tell me you are tired of Tyler photos, I will find you (hello, IP address stalking), and punch you so hard in the throat. TYLER IS PERFECT. And frankly, he's cute as Hell. Is Hell cute? I've never been. Though I'll probably find out eventually, let's be honest.

Tyler, Auntie Ali thinks you’re the best thing ever. I will bring you presents every single time I see you. Most of them will have pictures of giraffes on them.

Operation Spoil My Nephew: PASS!

12. Cook one legitimate meal per month. Yes! Another PASS!

Some of the stuff I’ve made has been basic and lame — scrambled eggs for about three weeks straight — but a few of the meals I’ve made have been pretty decent. Last night, for example, let me show you what I made

First, I chopped stuff.
Then, I put it in a pot on the stove.
Next, I poured it into another dish.
Then, I covered it all in cheese.
Then I baked it.
Lastly, I ate it. Two servings, in fact. And then I snuck into the kitchen with my fork and took some bites straight out of the casserole dish. I'm not embarrassed I just told you that.

I thought this dish was delicious, and my dinner guests ate their whole bowls, too. I haven’t barfed or had any usual bathroom experiences since eating, so I think we’re all safe!

PASS!

13. Don’t let people make me feel badly about my life decisions. Major PASS! This resolution is awesome. I just don’t give a shit what people think of me anymore. It’s pretty freeing. You should try it. This might be the best, most life-changing resolution I made, honestly.

14. Run a sub-4 hour marathon. Well, it was a fail for the Eugene Marathon, but here’s hoping I can get my act — and speed — together by November 4 when I attempt the New York City Marathon. Grade: I REFUSE TO FAIL.

And my resolution list from Brian…

1. Run a sub-4 hour marathon. We’ve already discussed this. See above. See perseverance. See also: I’m taking another week off running until my body decides to cooperate. My foot was hurting the other day. So I’m staying off it. I’m hitting Snooze instead of running.

Rest. Ice. Compress. Elevate. I basically have this down to a science.

I’m missing running. I’m refusing to begin NYCM training with a broken/hurting/bitchy body. So no long run this weekend. Just maybe a little bike riding.

2. Bike a 40-mile ride. PASS! And I’m super eager for more. Yes, my next goal is to do a Century Ride.

I want in.

That’s 100 miles, kids.

3. Cook saffron risotto. FAIL. Wow, I have no desire to do this whatsoever. But I will, eventually. Probably on the morning of December 31, 2012.

4. Take a knife skills class. Another FAIL. Another thing I don’t care to do. Ali On The Bloody Hands.

5. Replace the words “stressed” and “overwhelmed” with “excitingly busy.”  Psh. Totally nailed this one. PASS! I use “excitingly busy” all the time, as you know. And I’m definitely not using it in a mocking way. But really, I do think I’m starting to get better about managing my stress. I’ve learned that I can’t necessarily control how much stress comes into my life, but I can control how I react to it. So I’m working on that, and my health is improving because of it. I think.

6. Ski out west. Not yet. This isn’t a fail. This is a NOT DONE YET BECAUSE THERE WASN’T MUCH SNOW.

OK, so I have some work to do. Duly noted.

DO YOU? If you’re a New Year’s Resolution maker (which you should be, because OMG lists are so fun), how are yours coming along? Are you succeeding or failing miserably like your ol’ friend Ali over here?

Ali

Ali

40 Responses

  1. Hey Ali,
    saw your blog in a health magazine and i had to check it out. I have Crohn’s too and love the bathroom language comments!! Im training for a half marathon and totally get the frequent bathroom visits. keep up the training and helping all of us crohnies feel normal.

  2. Ali, I love your blog and I just wanted to tell you that your not the only one that has not accomplished New Year Resolutions 🙂 hang in there and keep doing great

  3. I hope you’re ready for that day I planned where we run from your apartment, I take your watch, we run over the Queensboro, to the Astoria Park Track, do a handstand break, and finish at a dance class at Equinox (particularly Abby Goldenberg, if you like “dancing slutty”)!

    You have that day marked down in your calendar right?!

    1. This honestly sounds like the best day ever. I’M READY.

      J/K not ready yet. Need to find a sexy dance outfit first.

  4. I didn’t really make many resolutions this year, although I vowed to try yoga again and I did and loved it. Then I had to go and move away from that studio am currently looking for a new place to try.
    So yay for achieving something!

  5. I just wanted to say that I love your blog! I’m also from NH – and suffer from Crohn’s – and reading your blog makes me feel inspired and less… alone, if that makes sense. Major props to you for all the stuff you still continue to do even when you feel like garbage!

  6. I gave up on resolutions it was a sure fire way for me NOT to do something! So stubborn aren’t I? Those are really good and doable ones though 😉 Give it a go I say! Wish you could just feel better hard to make a move when you feel blech. Good luck and I think you achieved the most important ones… although that marathon time would be awfully fun to do!

    1. I play on my phone! Twitter, Facebook, etc. I do the plank on my forearms, so my hands are free to dabble with the touch screen!

  7. One of my goals was to take a dance class also. I was so scared to go back after 6 years off, but I’m so glad I ended up going.

    You’re in NYC. Go find a class you like and cross #6 off the resolution list.

  8. You still have 6 whole months, 180++ days, countless of hours and minutes to do it. Or continue working towards those goals in 2013. Why does it has to happen by 31 Dec 2012 at 11:59pm? What’s important is getting there and living life to your fullest and being happy.

  9. I love lists of all kinds. I’m about 35% done with my New Year’s Resolution list, and one of my resolution is a 2 minute plank. I can’t even imagine 5. Very impressive.

  10. Your posts are hilarious! Also, you have 6more months to nail down your resolutions so keep it up. Finally, can i please have the recipe to that quinoa casserole? It looks yummy. Thanks in advance! Eliana

  11. I have learned that I can only make 1 resolution at a time. This year it was to run at least 2x per week every week the whole year, and I’m proud to say I have been keeping up with it! Some weeks I couldn’t run but it was only when I went on a trip to Italy and couldn’t fit my running shoes in my bag, but I did walk all day long every day! Anyways, I read your blog before going to sleep at night to keep positive thoughts in my head, and I think that reading your blog also helped me keep up with my running! Thanks. 🙂 Good job with your resolutions – I can’t plank for even 20 seconds!

  12. Dude, finding a track in NYC is EASY! First of all, NYRR has their Summer Speed Series Tuesday evenings at Icahn [where the elites run!] and it’s just $10. They have races from 400m to 5k. Check it out on their site.

  13. I was going to only comment about how insanely funny you are. This post especially. You make me LOL for reals.

    But then I saw your bolded questions part, and I now have to also offer my thanks for not putting an apostrophe in “yours.” I realize you’re an editor and wouldn’t do that to begin with…but so many people do, and whenever someone doesn’t…auto respect.

    And this is where I condemn myself for being a punctuation nerd, but I’m not sorry.

    Good for you for being nice to your foot. Happy bodies=happy running. And I think one of your mid-year resolutions should be to put at least one Tyler pic in every post you do. MORE! Have a good weekend!

  14. This is very impressive! A cheats way around the naked run – wear your Garmin but cover the watch face with parcel tape or something. You’re naked while running but you get all the delicious stats afterwards.

  15. I’m not a big fan of New Year’s Resolutions, mainly because I just end up feeling guilty about all the ones I don’t get the chance to do….BUT the one & only resolution I made this year (well, more like a goal) is to run a half marathon. I’m currently signed up for one in October & training’s going well so far, so hopefully I can so I did it before the year ends!

  16. Is it weird that meeting you is on my bucket list? I’m sure that it is, but oh well, there it is. As far as goals go, I’m in the process. New beginnings are coming so I need to make new goals.

  17. I wish I didn’t do a resolution post bc now i feel like I have to follow up with it. FAIL. Ha. Like you, I believe I’m pretty much an amazing aunt, so I consider the first half of the year a success. Baby E is coming into the city in 2 weeks and I cant wait to take him to the park, the zoo and my fav brunch spot. 🙂

  18. Holy shit. We’re halfway through the year? Yes, we are. How did I not realize this?

    I guess I’ve achieved about 75% of my resolutions, which is pretty good, no? And I still have 6 months to work on the rest, so I feel like that’s good progress!

  19. Mine were short this year….

    1. Beat Tim (my husband) at Ping-Pong – PASS
    2. Run a marathon – PASS
    3. Not be an angry driver and yell at fellow road sharing vehicles – MAJOR FAIL
    4. Make Lobster with Tim – PASS
    5. Go to a drive in movie – Fail
    6. Volunteer once a month – With the exception of this month – Pass!!
    7. Make croissants from scratch – Fail

    Good work to you! I think the back half of the year is for catching up, and the first half of the year is for coasting and strategizing your attack plan. 🙂

  20. I hate calling doctors during my work day plus because no one knows I have MS it’s a little awkward talking all about my fun flair ups on the phone. I usually try to take my calls outside but really there’s no ideal scenario. I’m also about 50% done with my goals for the year, but it seems I left all the tough ones for last.

  21. I don’t even remember all my resolutions – which should probably help you gauge how I’ve done – but I recal something about a half marathon (check!) and cooking more (fail!). I should probably re-visit that file on my computer…..
    Go outside, call doctors, schedule a colonoscopy and I’ll teach you my “Colonoscoparty in the USA” song as a reward, which brings some pep to the prep. Yes, thats right; move over, Miley.

  22. This is hilarious – and like everyone else I’m kind of half way there on my resolutions. I still don’t speak Spanish but I have done a half marathon and am ready for my next. I’ve watched a lot of foreign films and have read a book a month but the crafting has gone by the wayside and I don’t mind too much!! I LOVE resolutions though.

  23. I am DYING to run on a track. But I am very, very intimidated by it, slash, I don’t know where to find one in NYC, really…oops. I’m petrified of showing up to run my 800s and having the track be full of super-duper speedy people and having them laugh at me because I’m slow. Or having to turn around because some super-speedy team is practicing. If you know of any not-scary tracks in NYC, let me know!

  24. I ran (partially) over the QB Bridge today. I am declaring myself your official QB Bridge ambassador! OK?! Let’s do it soon!
    My resolution today is to respond to your email from 2 (3?) days ago. TGIF and xoxo

  25. I might have a solution for #1….zocdoc.com. Because making doctors appointments online without having to describe your reason for the visit over the phone is BEST thing ever. I’m not sure why this hasn’t been invented before.

  26. I’m in with you for the trampoline class! That meal you cooked looks delicious even if I don’t know what it is. If you want to try an excellent Microdermabrasion product let me know. I have a very good feeling about NYCM for you. And please find a doctor! Even though you’re feeling OK now, it is really important for you to have.

  27. I am about 50/50 on my goals, but failing miserably on learning to cook 1 meal per quarter. yep, can’t even manage 1 meal every 3 months. thank goodness hubby can cook.

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about ali

I’m the creator of the Ali on the Run blog and the host of the Ali on the Run Show podcast. I’m also a freelance writer and editor, a race announcer, a runner and marathoner, a mom, and a huge fan of Peanut M&Ms, Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again (way better than the first one!), and reliving my glory days as a competition dancer in the early 2000s. I’m really happy you’re here.
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