Thankful Things Thursday always seems to come around when we need it most, doesn’t it?
I have spent the past two days cooped up in my apartment with little contact with the outside world.
OK, that’s a lie. I Tweeted a lot. Twitter is the same as real human contact. And I had to entertain myself somehow.
So yes, I am still battling this little Crohn’s flare-up. It hasn’t been super fun. It hasn’t even been a little bit fun.
See, I can handle the stomach stuff. I’m used to it, and even though it’s way worse during a flare, it’s still completely manageable and I try not to let it bring me down. Is it frustrating and unpredictable and a pain in the gut (see what I did there)? Yes. But I can handle it with minimal complaining. This time though, I have this dang fever that won’t let up. I’ve had a fever since Friday and I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve taken my temperature and it’s clocked in under 100 degrees.
Last night I hit an all-time fever high: 103.4 degrees. Now I’m no doctor, but I’m pretty sure this all isn’t normal. Naturally I diagnosed myself with pneumonia, side of Crohn’s, with a slight touch of Anthrax and possible Rabies. Cause unknown.
I debated going to the doctor last night, but figured they’d say, “Make sure you hydrate, a fever is normal when you are having a flare-up.” Instead, I continued to sweat through everything I own and today I will get Remicade and be magically cured.
Now let’s get thankful, shall we?!
I’m thankful for my fame. Oh, you didn’t know about how I became famous this weekend? Let me show you:
Perhaps at first glance you look at this screen shot and see runner Kim Smith, leading the women’s pack at the New York City Half Marathon on Sunday (she ended up taking second to badass Firehiwot Dado). Kim Smith freaks me out, let’s just get that out of the way. Her running style is all choppy and weird and I feel uncomfortable watching her, kind of in the same way I feel uncomfortable about Stonehenge. It’s just unnatural.
Anyway. You see Kim Smith, but I see a pair of hot pink legwarmers, a green skirt and an orange cowbell. THAT IS ME. On television. ABC, in fact. Wicked famous. You can also see Susan. She’s famous now, too.
I’m thankful I have actually been resting. By 5 PM yesterday, I was getting really restless. I hadn’t moved, I was alternating between chills and the sweats, and I craved human contact. I did a lot of work from home yesterday, but other than being glued to my laptop, I wasn’t what you could call “impressive” or “productive” or “pretty.” My fever had gone down by late afternoon and I declared I was going to take a spin class. Deep down, I knew this was not wise. And then, as if my body could sense my inner crazy coming out, the chills kicked back in, I was back to being horizontal, and I did not, in fact, end up spinning. More total rest. It does a body good. Or so I’ve been told.
I’m thankful I’m getting Remicade today. Seriously, thank goodness this is finally happening. Technically they’re not supposed to drug me up if I have a fever, so my plan is to pop a bunch of Tylenol before I go in so the fever goes down and I’m good to go. Dang, I should have gone into the medical profession. I have this stuff all figured out. I’m really hoping I can get through this flare-up without having to go on Steroids, and Remicade sometimes does the trick. Stay tuned, my friends. I know you’ll probably be on the edge of your seats waiting to hear about how it goes, so check back tomorrow for a very exciting update about my IV status.
I’m thankful for the Robyn song “Indestructible.” It’s my new jam.
I predict I will be sick of this song within four days. I have a tendency to overplay things I really really like.
I’m thankful I got a seat on the subway this morning, both on the 4 train and then when I transferred to the 6. Yeah, I take the 6. I’m basically JLo. Remember, she had that album…On the 6? It was about living in the Bronx. No? OK. So anyway, I usually hate taking the subway when I’m sick. I get all panicky about being underground and what if my stomach kicks into high gear and there’s nowhere to, uh, go? Well today the subway was shockingly empty and I got to sit down. Anxiety = gone.
I’m thankful for the Cottonelle toilet paper with the cute puppy on it. I love when it goes on sale at Duane Reade.
I’m thankful for Dri-Fit clothing. Yes, I am wearing a completely inappropriate outfit at the office today, but it’s truly the best I could do. I did some fancy layering — a Lululemon racer-back tank and a long-sleeved Nike shirt over it — but by the time I walked from the subway to the office, that sad Nike shirt was soaked through. So now I’m sitting here in just a skanky little top. Please, job, don’t fire me. I promise I can still produce exceptional-quality work even in semi-naked attire.
I’m thankful I’m no longer a pack rat. I used to save everything. For a while, I saved every single magazine I ever owned. And I would move from home to my college dorm and back again, and then into apartments and things, and those magazines were heavy. Eventually I realized I had to let the magazines go. Now, as I prepare to move again, I’m learning to let go of other things I used to be so attached to…like my billions of middle and high school journals.
Oh yes, I was a journal writer. Big time. I thought I’d want to save these things forever, but looking back at them, wow, I was dramatic. Shocking, I know, because I am not at all dramatic now! I guess people really can change!
So yeah, I skimmed the journals, came to the realization that I had some serious body image issues in high school, and now those journals can burn. Actually, I put them in the recycle bin outside my apartment. Someone might be reading them right now and thinking, “Man, this Alison chick is so sad. I hope she lived to be OK.”
I did, concerned person on the street reading my middle school tales of love. Don’t you worry about me.
I also got rid of this:
I’m thankful that, despite the fact that I’ve sweat more in the past week than ever in my life, Brian has not broken up with me. I guess it’s a good thing we signed that lease. Now he’s locked in. Mwahaha. Really though, last night was pretty rough. I had to do a full-on pajama wardrobe change around 1 AM because, yet again, I had soaked through everything I was wearing. Chills, fever, sweats, repeat. Neither of us have slept much this week, and yet he keeps coming back. Brian hearts sweat.
I’m thankful for springtime and wonderful weather.
I hope to be all better soon so I can enjoy these fantastic temperatures and glorious flowers! Remember when I used to wake up in the morning and run? Weird. I miss those times.
I’m thankful for all the times I said I was thankful for my health. Naturally right now I’m not super psyched about my oh-so-weak-and-deteriorating immune system. But lately, when I have been healthy, I’ve been appreciative. That makes times like these not so bad. I know I just have to get through a few days of slight misery and then I’ll be totally fine again. I can live with that. I’m sick. I’m not dying. (Oh jeez, I hope I’m not dying!) These things happen, and they come and go, and in a few days or weeks or whatever, this will all be a distant little memory.
So until then, I’ll keep sweating up a storm and fevering and Crohnsing and not running.
AND NOW DO YOU PART: Tell me what you’re thankful for today! Are you thankful you don’t have a fever? Are you thankful that the drugstore near you actually has Cadbury Mini Eggs in stock? (What’s that like? Stupid Duane Reades on every block being sold out…) Are you perhaps thankful you have no weekend plans and can actually relax?