Hey, all you people who said this stomach bug was probably “only a 12-hour thing,” why don’t you come on over to my apartment so I can give you a swift kick to the face for all your lies?
Yeah, that’s right. Hostile Ali!
I’m currently on Day 3 of being quarantined to my apartment and I am bored beyond belief. Luckily, I really don’t mind being sick because I am definitely at my most gorgeous after hours of doing…various things…in the bathroom.
That shockingly stunning photo was taken mere moments after vomit session number three last night. I tried to finally get some food in my stomach, so I went with the old standby of Lipton Noodle Soup, which I promptly proceeded to throw up. It wasn’t good the first time and it was less impressive the second, third and fourth times.
I could talk a lot about vomit right now, but I’ll try to spare you.
Going back to Saturday: After my disastrous and tragic long-run attempt (and subsequent fail), I did some shower puking and then climbed right back into bed. I was miserable, and my temperature got up to 102. Not great. I took Tylenol throughout the day to keep the fever down, and Saturday night I did my very best to get over my illness so I could go to my friend Lauren’s birthday party.
That didn’t go so well. I stayed at the party for about an hour and then came right back home and got into bed. I was miserable.
I woke up yesterday morning and knew the day was going to be spent in bed. I had a fever again and I was perhaps the weakest I’ve ever felt. I knew I should drink a lot of water — “hydrate,” you all keep telling me — but the thought of walking a whopping 12 feet to the kitchen seemed like too great of an effort.
I sat in my bed doing absolutely nothing for three hours. I stared at the wall and read for a bit, and eventually made my way over to the couch, at which time I watched TV and learned a few lessons:
- If you watch Love Actually and also the Emily-centric episodes of “Friends” during the day, you will think in a British accent for the rest of the evening. Don’t try to do your British accent out loud, though. It’s much, much more eloquent in your head.
- There is an even longer version of the Sex and the City movie that exists, and that is the version they choose to show on television. It’s wretched. The fashion montagey scenes are even longer and it’s just kind of painful. No, Miranda, you do not look good in that weird leopard suit. I also don’t believe that Miranda would ever fit into Carrie’s clothes, but sure, let’s go with it for the sake of a now four-hour film.
- The saddest time of day is when the “Beverly Hills 90210” block ends on SoapNet and they transition over to “Gilmore Girls.”
Yesterday was really the first time in my life (except for maybe when I got mono for my 16th birthday) that I can remember feeling completely bedridden. When I get Crohn’s sick, I can still function pretty decently. I can still run, even if it requires making lots of pit stops, and I can still do hugely important life tasks, like responding to emails.
But not yesterday. I couldn’t do a dang thing. I couldn’t muster up the energy to walk to the kitchen (keep in mind I live in a studio apartment that is roughly the size of a shoebox), I couldn’t stand the thought of doing anything productive and I spent the entire day being horizontal.
And when I wasn’t horizontal, I was in the bathroom, where things were happening that weren’t pleasant. All kinds of things. Google “stomach flu symptoms” and read about them and just mentally check off every single one of those on the list of “Things Ali Has.”
Brian had to work all day yesterday, and I fully admit that when I’m sick, I do not like to take care of myself. So I had a really wonderful pity party via text message with my always-understanding mom.
I am 26 years old, and when I am sick, I want my mom. Call me pathetic, call me ridiculous, but nothing is better than a nice lady named “Mom” putting a cold washcloth on your forehead to make you feel better.
Brian came over around 11 last night, and I was still awake because I was doing this fun thing called “sweat out your fever and roll around in your sweat puddles.” It’s hard to sleep when your body is working so hard!
I finally fell asleep around midnight, but woke back up again frequently. Not my best night’s sleep, and now I’m home sick from work, which I’m not pleased about.
I got a very kind email from Coach Cane last night. Perhaps he saw my Tweets of Sadness all day:
He said not to worry about running or missing my training runs and that “we’ll be fine.” I read his email and realized that I hadn’t even thought about running all day. WHO AM I?
Normally if I have a sore throat or stuffy nose or sore tricep, I still get out running. Until this week, I had never missed a training run in my life, and in most scenarios I’d go crazy about one teeny tiny setback. But over the weekend, I was ill enough not to even contemplate running.
And now I present you with five signs I know I’m really sick:
- I don’t make my bed. It never got made yesterday because I kept moving from the bed to the couch. This is crazy. I always make my bed.
- I don’t care about running. Also crazy. I always care about running.
- I don’t do my sit-ups. Every morning of my life starts with 200 little crunches, and yesterday I didn’t even try.
- I don’t have an appetite. My name is Ali, and my favorite thing is food. All kinds of food. Yesterday, the mere sight of a picture of food make me bolt for the bathroom. I choked down about eight Saltines over the course of the day, and then that dreaded soup dinner that didn’t go so well.
- I actually spend the day laying down, and not attempting to be productive. Most times I’ve taken sick days, I rest and lounge around my apartment, but I also try to get things done, like cleaning out my closet or doing dishes or unpacking from that trip I went on four days ago. Not happening today. Not at all.
I’m not whining, I promise. As much as it sucks to be sick, maybe this little break has been good for me. I’ve been going going going going going nonstop for um, ever? So maybe a few days of laying in bed, as painfully boring as it can be, is what the doctor-I-didn’t-bother-calling ordered.
And do you know what perks me up a little? I was nominated by FITNESS Magazine as a “Most Inspiring Blogger,” which is cool because I agree that my stories about what happens in the bathroom are very inspiring!
Seriously though, I’m incredibly honored by the nomination, and if you’re so inclined to check out the website and cast your vote (you have to enter your name and an email address to vote, but it only takes about two seconds), I would appreciate it and probably get cured of the flu.
I’m off to do nothing but sleep and drink water and perhaps eat a meal of Saltines.
Have a great day, everyone. Stay healthy!
AND A SIMPLE TASK FOR YOU: Tell me something good. Please. Maybe a joke? Or perhaps share the best part of your weekend? Anything “good” will make me smile, and I like smile, and puke doesn’t make me smile.
Glad to know I am not the only one who wants my Mom when I am sick (even if I am 21!!) Hope you are feeling better, try some ginger ale & toast w/ cinnamon sugar–that is what my mom always makes me when I am sick!
P.S. Congrats on the Fitness Blogger Nomination, just voted for you! 🙂
Awww, bless your heart. I hope you feel better real soon. I bet a little trip to Nimbin would cure your nausea/puking…just sayin:)
Aw 🙁 I’m so sorry you’re sick! I always all my mom too. It’s just what you do. (I do the washcloth thing too!)
I found your first post-puking meal. I live in Seattle so I can’t go here. http://hello.jeandjo.com/ Please?? Personally, I would go for the ‘naner icecream with peanut butter cookie dough. Let me experience NYC through you please.
Feel better. I love the texts between you and your mom.
Ugh. The worst of the worst of the worst. The last time I felt like you do now, I had swine flu (ah, the perks of being a middle school teacher!) I was barely conscious for most of the day and also couldn’t make it to the kitchen for food or water. I actually remember thinking at one point, “You know, dying wouldn’t be so bad right now. I think I’d be ok with dying.” Yes, really.
Here’s something that I hope will make you laugh. One of my eighth graders (who I’ve already recommended for an honors class next year) wrote in her most recent essay that dinosaurs existed in the year 1492. Yup. T-rexes and Columbus discovered America, in case you didn’t know.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it!! 😉
Hope you feel better soon!!
Oh man. sorry you’re so sick, friend. I would have brought you some fluids if i had known/not been at work or the library all weekend! I always think in a british accent after watching love actually! Haha. and the emily episodes from friends. at last you had some good entertainment. Hope you’re feeling better now. I bet Brian is taking good care of you 🙂
That is all beyond sucky. I am so so so sorry to hear this. Hopefully by the time you read this you have made a miraculous recovery an are out running your usual 10 miles and making your bed?!?! GET WELL SOON! Tell Brian you need a puppy to cheer you up.
Ugh. Your weekend sounds miserable. I had some kind of stomach thing last week. Sounds like you’ve got Norovirus which is horrible, nasty, and miserable but should only last 1-3 days. So tell it that it’s gotta leave by tomorrow. Time’s up.
Anyway, my current favorite joke:
What does a nosy pepper do? — Get’s jalapeño business.
Two things really…
1) I’m 36 and still like to have Mom around when I’m sick or battling a Crohn’s flare. seriously, she really knows how to make very teeny tiny portion controlled meals to feed me but not go crazy.
2) I finished Week 1 of Couch to 5K so that’s all kinds of awesome.
Feel better soon Ali!
I had the flu like that last year (also right after a work trip) and it totally knocked me out. I don’t think I’ve ever spent so much time in bed in my life! I spent the first week trying to push through it, and doing my regular work outs. And then I finally admitted I was really sick and just crashed. And then, when I finally got some rest, I actually started to get better. So as sucky as it is, you’re doing the right thing!
I hope you feel better soon!!!!
I’m working from my bed right now too, which probably isn’t much of an upper, but I will say that I am THRILLED that someone else noted the horrid fashion montage on the Sex and the City TV version! I had the exact same, “How the hell do all of Carrie’s clothes fit everyone?” thought, and I glad someone else called out that production mistake. I really only like the (semi-awkward) part when Lily comes out shirtless with all the purses.
Feel better soon!! Have you tried something carbonated like ginger ale or sprite? That always helps me with stomach issues. Rest up!
How do you make Lady GaGa angry?
You poke her face.
Maybe this might make you laugh a bit… Feel better soon.
Or this: http://www.27bslash6.com/missy.html
Still miserable?? http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/74/the-landlord-from-will-ferrell-and-adam-ghost-panther-mckay?playlist=287152
Ok, if you haven’t cracked a smile by now there’s only one diagnosis…. you have no soul! 😉 Hang in there!
Gilmore Girls is AMAZING. Clearly this flu has addled your brain.
OH, one more thing.. If this video doesn’t made you smile, I don’t know what will! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJQVlVHsFF8
Hope you feel better soon! I’m right there with you on the mom thing — my husband got a little offended the last time I was sick and I told him that as much as I love him, I really just wanted my mom to come take care of me!
Congrats on your nomination too — I am headed over to vote!
(Since you may be thinking of getting a puppy) I went of my first run with my 8 mo old border collie puppy on Saturday. I have never seen my pup so happy – and he helped pull me into speeds I didn’t think I could run! We both had a blast 🙂
When I’m sick I am the SAME way. There’s nothing like TLC from mom! (but that doesn’t get the hubs off the hook from being at my beck & call). If it weren’t creepy (since I’m a complete internet stranger and all) – I’d totally come & take care of you. (well if it weren’t creepy & I didn’t happen to live in NH).
OH… and what the heck people? 90210 needs it’s own 24 hour channel. OBVS. That’s it! I’m writing my Congressman.
I hope you’re on the mend Ali!
Hi Ali! Here’s another joke:
Where does the king keep his little armies?
Up his little sleevies!
This joke works best when you pull your arms up into your sleeves and wave your hands spastically like you have T-rex arms.
Here’s a funny story: during my junior year of college, my frisbee team made the very stupid road trip from Minnesota to Baton Rouge. We started driving at 8 p.m. and got to Louisiana sometime during the morning. I took over the 10 p.m. driving shift and gunned the engine, and immediately got pulled over by an Iowa state trooper – who TOOK ME INTO HIS CAR for 10 minutes as he examined my license. Then he gave me a verbal warning and told me not to speed in Iowa.
Hope you feel better!
Well you already know that I voted! Feel better soon girl!! 🙂
Aww feel better! I hate being bedridden. You should watch all the movies that you always meant to watch but never had time for.
Um the Gilmore Girls is a really good show!
FEEL BETTER SOON! <3
some (lame) jokes for you:
what did the ocean say to the beach?/nothing, it just waved!
what kind of food does a witch bring to the beach?/a SAND-WITCH!
what did the big bucket say to the little bucket?/you look a little PAIL!
how do you fix a broken tuba?/with a TUBA glue!
why did the elephants get kicked out of the public pool?/They kept dropping their TRUNKS!
hope at least one of those made you smile – even if it was just a little bit 🙂 stay well!
Oh no! The last time I remember throwing up and feeling really sick it only lasted for less than 24 hours. I hope you feel better soon! Maybe try drinking something with electrolytes (gatorade, nuun, etc). It might make you feel better from all that you are losing from throwing up.
I’m so sorry you’re so sick. I’ll share my weekend “good”. I ran the Beck’s Light Challenge at Gasparilla in Tampa this weekend and complete a 15k, 5k, and half marathon over the course of two days. I was pleased with myself and feel a real sense of pride and accomplishment. I hope it’s not bad to share that since you don’t feel like running right now, but maybe you can be happy about running vicariously? Feel better soon!
I actually found your blog bc of your nomination and find you completely entertaining! I can only aspire to be the awesome runner you are! Hope you feel better soon. 🙂
Sorry you’re feeling so crummy! When I can’t keep anything down, I really like drinking a half-and-half mixture of regular gatorade and water. Sounds sort of weird and tastes like… watered down gatorade, but seems to stay down easier than just water for me. I hope you feel better soon!
Something good: corgi stampede! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dsg8JccRZCw&feature=related
Feel better!!!! Ugh. Here’s something somewhat amusing for a Monday morning. I get on the train and get a seat by the door. I like that seat because I feel like I have at least one side where I’m not being squished. Well, I look across from me and there is a man with a guitar case (presumably with a guitar inside) strapped to his back, still on while he is seated mind you. He has sunglasses on and he’s tapping his feet and occassionally doing some kind of air guitar and what really looked like drumming (hitting a high hat?). He had headphones on and I know that I should be happy for him because he obviously feels passionate about his music, but I kept thinking he had some kind of mental disorder. Honestly, who does that Monday morning on the train. He sat directly across from me. I knew I should have changed my seat when I got on, but I didn’t and the train didn’t ever get crowded enough for him to be blocked from my view (or people were staying away from him – quite possible). I put music on my iPhone and took out a magazine to read — I even picked it up to block him from my peripheral vision. But, I could still hear him raise and drop his foot enthusiastically to the music I presume he was listening to. So, I feel kind of bad for being completely disturbed by this man’s obvious enthusiasm for his music, but I guess it’s good that he’s so passionate that he obviously doesn’t care about any of it.
I hope you get better soon and get back to showing your passion for running by knocking out some killer miles.
I am proud of you for admitting you are sick and taking it easy! (See, no lecture this time!) I would re-tell you that joke that Maureen tries to re-tell in “Center Stage” before she walks away in a huff, but I never really got it/thought it was funny…..
So instead, my “good” is that I ran 11 miles on Saturday! And I didn’t die, nor did I feel like I was going to (big, BIG improvement from the week before), and for the first time I believed that March 18 may actually happen…
Hey Ali, I hope your flu passes soon. I work in healthcare and I know this seasons flu is absolutely brutal! I hope you feel better!! The best part of my weekend is I got into my top choice grad school!! Woohoo!
I am so sorry you are sick! Hope this passes soon.
Something funny. Hmmm.
I can tell you the best part of my weekend was the Lady Vols winning the SEC Tournament. 🙂
Oh no! Sounds like you have had a rough weekend. I hope you are back to yourself in no time!
This post breaks my heart. Really hoping this is almost over for you.
Watch puppy videos. Lots.
Weel FIRST, I hope you feel better! I had surgery three weeks ago and was subjected to bed for two weeks, I couldn’t even drive. It was the pits. BUT something good is that I ran a marathon yesterday in Little Rock (it was my second) and I beat my first marathon time even while having to make a potty stop during the race! Check out the bling for this race, supposedly the biggest finisher’s medals in the world 🙂
Ali, hope you feel a lot better, soon!
Now something that made my week: I`m feeling improvements in my workouts. I run faster, further, I go swimming and enjoy it…! I`m seeing the “good sides”. That makes me happy.
Sorry you’re so sick! Hopefully this goes away asap so you can go back to thinking about running!
oh MAN. feel better. I HATE throwing up…so, no offense, I would steer clear too ;-P Rest up!! And I voted for you!!!
I will tell you a story.
When V was 2 I was putting up plastic over the windows for the first time. I was fighting with it, and promised him we would put up the Christmas tree when I was done. So we were putting up the tree, and he leaned back onto the patio door and the plastic fell down over him.
I shouted “Oh NO!”. He immediately thought he was in trouble. I told him he wasn’t in trouble, I was frustrated with the plastic. He looked at me and said, “Momma next time you should keep that in your brain.”
I hope you feel better soon.
Hello! I have been reading your blog for a bit now, and I felt inclined to comment this time around to first say, 1) your blog is awesome! I really enjoy reading it and 2) I had food poisoning about 2 weeks ago, it was horrible. Drink some water and remember, it will pass! I have no other advice, seeing that I also ate soup and it didn’t go well. On a more productive note, you should write a post about how to wake up earlier in the morning and run…because I am still trying to get the hang of that one.
Something good about my weekend: I went to someone’s house for dinner last night. Yes, that’s right, I was social, and it didn’t involve the internet.
I hope you feel better soon! Have Brian bring you some Emergen-C or Nuun or something – when I’m sick I hate drinking water, but if you put a little something in it, it’s way more palatable.
I put on a running shoe for the first time in 9 wks – didn’t run but got the shoe on my swollen foot 🙂
Feel better! I hope the Saltines work out for you better than the noodle soup! And kudos on being nominated as a top blogger by Fitness.
When I throw up I always cry for my mom. Always. I first realized this might be a problem the first time I got drunk in college (and in my life) and spent the night crying for my mom, and also calling her. She did not care and obviously could do nothing from three hours away. But now, many years later, I still find myself crying “mommy” whenever I am hunched over a toilet. I guess in some ways we never grow up.
I am SO sorry you are so sick, but really glad to hear you actually are resting. Although I can’t believe you went to the party. I am very much a baby and would not have even bothered. I still can’t believe you ran five miles while sick.
REST!! Keep resting.
It sounds like you had a wonderful weekend…I know it sucks but this is probably your body’s way of telling you that you could use some rest. As you said, you’ve been going going and going. I think your body is saying stop in the worst way possible. I really hope you feel better soon!
Eek, I hope you feel better soon! The flu you have seems to be going around all over the country somehow–my boss had it here (I’m in NY) and I have friends in Iowa and on the west coast who have had it. Those I know who have had it felt better in about a week, so just hang in there a little longer!
Imagine blonde girl listening to ipod falling down subway stairs and laugh laugh laugh — yep, that was me Wed! It was raining! It wasn’t my fault!
Also, imagine same blonde girl falling on the bridle path ALL THE TIME. Again, not my fault, there are rocks that jut out of the ground! There to trip you at any moment!