First, let me show you my dinner from last night, because I am a ridiculously talented chef.
That’s right. While some of you were whipping up chickens or pastas or chia seeded oatmeals, I made English Muffin Pizzas, side of Brussels sprouts. Oh, you want the recipe? Sure.
- Brussels Sprouts: Cut up sprouts. Wash them first if you want. That’s a good idea. Toss with salt, pepper and olive oil. Put on aluminum foil-lined cookie sheet. Spread them out a little bit. Bake at 425 degrees for a bunch of minutes. Remove from oven when you are starving. Do not concern yourself with whether or not they are actually done. It’s time to eat.
- English Muffin Pizzas: Cut English muffins in half. Don’t use jarred tomato sauce. It won’t agree with your Crohn’s. Instead, cut up a tomato. Toss tomato slices with salt, pepper and olive oil. Be extra fancy by adding the basil that comes in those little shakers. Don’t bother with fresh basil. That seems like a lot of work. Put tomato slices on muffin halves. Top with parmesan cheese. Put halves on a piece of aluminum foil so you don’t have to do any more dishes. Put in oven next to Brussels sprouts. Remove when cheese is melted. Devour.
Feel free to use my recipe. It’s creative and original, I know. Foodbuzz, why are you not advertising here?
Onto another topic: gym pet peeves!
Last night I went to the gym for a spin class and my heart broke a little when Matt, my favorite instructor, wasn’t there. The sub walked in the room and I felt sad. I had taken her class before and kind of hated it. So the class started on a somewhat sour note for me. Tragedy!
Turns out, though, the class wasn’t that bad. Her music was decent and the teacher had a cute little accent from somewhere like perhaps Germany? I liked it. I was entertained.
I kept myself further entertained by thinking about other gym pet peeves.
When I go to the gym, it’s usually to take a group fitness class — either spinning, Chisel (a strength training-ish class), yoga or the occasional TRX or kickboxing class. I love being in a room filled with motivated people, sweating up a messy storm.
I don’t use the cardio machines at the gym, nor do I use many of the weight machines. I use the mat/stretching area to foam roll and do planks, and I use the benches to do tricep dips and incline bicep curls. Beyond that, the machines are all yours.
I still find plenty of things to be annoyed about, though, and I’d like to tell you about them today.
- People who sit around in the locker room texting. Bonus points if you’re sitting on one of the precious benches where I’d like to put my bag while I get changed. Also, hi, here at my boobs as I try to wiggle myself into a sports bra. Please leave the locker room, texting lady. Do that outside. I’d like to be temporarily naked in peace. This is awkward enough. Don’t make it worse.
- When the sub sucks. Usually great teachers find themselves great subs if they can’t make a class. But sometimes it doesn’t work out that way. A lackluster instructor — when you’re used to such a good one — makes for a disappointing class.
- When someone shows up to class five minutes late and then puts her stuff right on top of mine. Look, it’s crowded. I get that. I’m all about sharing the floor space so we can get our step on. But spread out, or someone (probably you) is going to get crushed during a reverse lunge.
- Weight hogs in group classes. So I take this Chisel class at Crunch, and the instructor always says at the beginning of class, “You’ll need a heavy set of dumbbells and a light set of dumbbells.” Then I see chicks coming out of the weight closet with 2-pound weights, 3-pound weights, 5-pound weights, 7.5-pound weights and 10-pound weights. Mind you, the class is always over-crowded anyway, and there simply aren’t enough weights to go around. So ask yourself, do you really need five sets of weights? Here’s the answer: No. You don’t. See that 90-pound girl behind you trying to do bicep curls with a rolled up yoga mat? Help her out and let her have a set of your weights. You won’t need them all. Promise.
- When the instructor doesn’t introduce him or herself upon entering the room. It makes me sad. Let’s be friends. Tell me who you are.
- When classes start late. I have a little OCD. Did you not know that yet?
- Trainers who will not leave me alone. I’ve been a Crunch member for almost four years now. No, I still do not want to take you up on your free personal training session. Thank you for telling me “there’s a more effective exercise than planks” as I’m huffing and puffing down on the mat, and I believe you, but I’m all set. Seriously, every week.
- People who show up late to yoga. I get that there are subway delays and sometimes people have to work late but still want to get a workout in. I totally respect that, and in any other class it doesn’t really bother me when you get there. It’s your workout, not mine. But yoga is a different story. How can I fall asleep on my mat if you’re taking off your high heels and powering down your iPhone right next to me?
- Instructors that don’t correct people. There are times that I feel like I’m doing something wrong, or that I look around and can tell other people are doing something wrong. (You know, because I’m a super expert, with all my knowledge.) It drives me a little crazy when teachers can’t be bothered to make adjustments.
- People who talk while the instructor is talking. Shut it.
But of course, there are great things about the gym, too — things that don’t bother me at all. I think the gym is a wonderful place. Here are some examples of things I don’t mind at the gym:
- Dudes doing pull-ups. Carry on, boys. I don’t want to date you or even have any sort of conversation with you, but I don’t mind what you’re doing. Brian, can you join my gym? There are lots of places for you to do pull-ups…I’ll watch…and probably smile a lot.
- Hyper-enthusiastic classes. I love it when a teacher yells out, “How’s everyone feeling?!” and the room goes nuts. Cheer, shout, yell, clap, do whatever you have to do to let me know you feel awesome. I’m completely on board.
Finally, I ran six miles this morning. They were not special because my stomach hurt and I had to make an emergency run for the bathroom. They were slow miles, which was the plan, so yay Ali, good job not trying to go fast.
TELL ME YOUR PEEVES: I know you have some. Share your gym pet peeves! What gets you really pissed at the gym? People who don’t wipe down their machines? People who try to “race you” on the treadmill? People who chill in the locker room totally naked for hours? Are there people that do that?