And So I Ran

It’s going to be so fun when I wake up one morning and get to write all about how “the Steroids have fully kicked in and my mysterious Crohn’s/colitis/Anthrax/SARS/bubonic plague/cholera is all cured up and I’m back to sleeping great and running strong!”

Sadly, today is not that day.

Today is the day I tell you that I am still Crohnsing quite a bit, and the Prednisone is taking its sweet time to work its way through my screwed up system.

I felt OK during the day at work yesterday. It’s not super comfortable being in a busy office when my stomach is in overdrive-mode, but it’s doable and I’m sick of whining about it and taking sick days out of the office.

At the end of the day, I felt OK enough to try a class at the gym. I thought about doing spinning, but talked myself out of it and opted for a 30-minute TRX class. Way less intensity, and 15 minutes shorter. Deal.

I felt fine throughout the class. Not great and not my strongest, which isn’t surprising since my body isn’t retaining many nutrients. But I was glad I went and worked up a bit of a sweat.

Then I got home and boom. Things were not pretty.

I ate what I thought would be a smart, stomach-friendly dinner: fish, broccoli and spinach, but it didn’t sit well with me. I spent the night tossing and turning and couldn’t get into a position that didn’t hurt or make my stomach feel all twisted and fidgety.

I’m sure Brian is thrilled to be dating me right now. I’m really bringing a lot to the table these days.

I take that back. I bring a lot to the table in the form of sailor dresses. Very crucial.

I woke up at Brian’s this morning and sensed that it was raining. (It was, in fact, pouring.) I was tired, but I wasn’t really sleeping anyway, so I figured I’d run.

Because that’s what I do when I don’t know what else to do.

I run.

I’m taking the medicine my doctor told me to take, and it’s probably working, but slowly.

I’m eating foods that millions of websites say are “Crohn’s-friendly,” but they’re causing little wars in my body.

I’m getting enough sleep (OK, fine, but I’m trying) and I’m not obsessing over my endless To Do lists. I know that stress will not help my case.

And still, this silly flare-up continues.

So my run this morning was nothing impressive. I ran 4.5 miles in total downpours. I didn’t run with music and the world was dark and quiet while I ran.

By “dark and quiet” I mean “at one point I veered onto the wrong path in Central Park because it wasn’t lit well and I convinced myself that was it for me.” Really, I envisioned a death-by-stranger-jumping-out-of-the-bushes-and-killing-me. Lovely morning thoughts, I know!

I got completely soaked and I hardly saw any other runners while I was out. I stopped once to use the bathroom, and I jumped directly into pretty much every puddle that washed out the Reservoir.

I was a mess when I got back home.

But I felt better.

Not physically, but mentally. My head was cleared. My worries were temporarily eased, and my new Sweat shirt is now officially broken in.

I have a lot to look forward to right now — trips, races, holidays that revolve around food — so I’m refusing to let this little setback bring me down very far. If I’ve learned one important lesson over the past two weeks, it’s that I really need to get over my constant need to control everything.

I can’t control everything. I would love it if I could, but, as my non-sugar-coating boyfriend so eloquently informed me, “If I try to please everyone and do everything, I will fail.”

So for now, I’ll do my best to take care of myself. I’ll sleep, I’ll eat what I can, and I’ll continue to run.

And yes, if you want to give me a puppy, I will walk it and play with it. Fine.



0 Responses

  1. I wish I could ship Murphy straight to your apartment. He’d give you so many pug kisses!

    Hang in there, lady. I hope you feel better soon!

  2. I totally understand the running thing! When i’m stressed I just want to run more…It helps me clear my mind…everyone may not get it! But, I sure do!! :-)when are you getting more sweat shirts ? i want one!

  3. I just wanted to let u know that I love ur blog. I share them with my husband. He has battled a long time with ulcerative colitis. We have been through our Ups and downs. I just wanted to tell u keep positive and u will get thru this. He is on remicade and it has helped a lot. Keep Brian close as I always tell my hubby to keep me close to help him thru his episodes. :))

  4. Food advice from a UC sufferer – something called a low residue diet during a flare, or as I call it, the white trash diet. White bread, white rice, mashed potatoes, canned fruit, canned veggies. Nothing with skins on it, no popcorn, no nuts, definitely no beans, broccoli, cabbage or cauliflower, no salad either. Yoghurt with probiotics are good, apple juice, apple sauce, chicken or beef broth. Just very simple, easily digested food. Maybe even lots of jello and juice and yoghurt for a bit til the worst of the flare is over.

    Unsolicited advice over!!!

  5. Dear Aunt Ali,

    Please come rub my belly and pick up my poop again. I’ll even let you post embarrassing photos of me popping a squat on the internetz so you don’t have to post photos like that of yourself.


  6. why aren’t those darn steroids working faster? That must be so frustrating. I caught a little bit of the downpour too – it was refreshing? Also, up for an easy run Friday maybe? I’ll email you.. feel better!!!

  7. Sorry I don’t have a puppy to give you, just lots of healing thoughts to send your way 😉 Love that you got out there & ran this morning. Sometimes running in the rain is the best way to remind yourself you are invincible, despite the challenges your body throws at you. Hugs, love & hope you feel better asap!

  8. I think Someone might wind up with a puppy for Xmas. (Hint, Hint Brian!) Still, good job getting out there in the rain today. I still cannot run, but if I could, I cannot promise that I would have. Hope the steroids start to work today!

  9. Hi, you are welcome to borrow Pancake at anytime… but his 85-butt may not fit into your apartment. Also, I apologize for the facebook photo I glanced upon yesterday that Persico tagged me in. I’m sorry that I was kissing your cheek and wearing a see-through shirt with a black bra… and now all of facebook knows it. It’s hard being so fashionable all of the time

  10. Oh Ali, this sounds no bueno at all but I’m glad you’re looking at it from the right perspective. Keep your head up, run when you can and remember, it’s not what happens to you, but how you handle it.

    Hope you feel better asap!

  11. brian sounds like a smart boy and like he is good for you! I am similar – love control, I want to do everything and please everyone. It is impossible. I need to get better about this too! I am currently in NYC (but leaving today) and I woke up at 5 am and thought “I bet Ali is in central park running right now..” haha 🙂

  12. Just wanted to say that I always look forward to your morning posts! (well morning is relative, I’m in Ireland, so I get to read them after lunch). Glad to see you’re holding on, hopefully steroids will kick in soon, and you’ll be back to your normal self.

    I also love how running lets me unwind, I just wish it wasn’t so damn hard :(. I came back to it after a break, and despite the fact that I’ve been doing it roughly 3 times a week for the past 3 months, I don’t see much improvement… It’s a bit disheartening to say the least! But I still enjoy it, even though I need a break like every 3 minutes to stretch my calves (hoping a message will help to fix it).

  13. womp womp. your stomach just can’t seem to catch any luck! with these chrons medicines you’re taking, can you take additional meds like pepto or imodium? glad you enjoyed your rainy run… i’m sure i would have those exact nightmare-ish thoughts!

  14. ya ya, im with dori – broccoli is hard to digest for us tummy-problem people. i had a major colitis attack on the way home from the boston bruins game…didnt make it home 🙁 damn you colitis you whore bitch you! so today im sticking with bread/rice/potatoes/cooked veggies. let me know if you find more crohns/colitis tolerable and yummy foods!

  15. Keep up the positive thoughts and attitude!

    It was thundering and lightning here so I’m sure if my husband and I ran this morning we would have been soaked too. Hopefully the weather is decent when we run tonight.

    Your picture of the I <3 sweat shirt makes me jealous, I can't wait to get mine. Hopefully soon!

  16. I love your positivity girl. Sometimes our bodies do things to us we don’t like but you certiantly know of to treat it. YEsterday I was tested for Celiac’s Disease and the first thing I thought to myself was what about running and then I said if Alli can run with Chron’s I can run with Celiacs 🙂

    Still waiting on my I heart sweat shirt (getting jealous of everyone wearing theres) 🙂

  17. I love your positivity! I’m trying to be like you whenever I start complaining 🙂 I hope you feel better soon!! Miss you!

  18. So sorry you’re feeling so awful. Your positive attitude is amazing- I love that you refuse to let this get you down! I hope the meds kick in immediately! 🙂

  19. Running in a dark downpour, especially when not feeling great, sounds like the worst thing ever to me. We are so different! So… broccoli. That is a notoriously gas-causing hard-to-digest food. I assume it doesn’t usually give you problems or you wouldn’t have thought it was stomach-friendly so you know yourself best… but I think that is something to keep in mind. Hope you feel better. — and go to new doctor soon!

    1. I had a feeling you might weigh in on the vegetables I went with! Broccoli is typically totally fine with me. I eat it pretty often and it doesn’t cause problems, so it seemed like a safe bet last night. Apparently I was wrong!

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about ali

I’m the creator of the Ali on the Run blog and the host of the Ali on the Run Show podcast. I’m also a freelance writer and editor, a race announcer, a runner and marathoner, a mom, and a huge fan of Peanut M&Ms, Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again (way better than the first one!), and reliving my glory days as a competition dancer in the early 2000s. I’m really happy you’re here.
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